Tag: #notastraightline

All in

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, #MediaWednesday, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, grief, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Military Motivation, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., NavySEALs, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, SEALMotivation, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com One of my favourite shows on television of late is SEAL Team. The show follows the lives of Bravo Team, one of the teams in the elite SEAL Development Group (DEVGRU). Led by Bravo-1, a SEAL by the name of Jason Hayes, the team takes on missions around the … Continue reading All in

Tired, but not overwhelmed…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Noise, Novel writing., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Social Media, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Despite this week being significantly quieter than last, I am feeling trashed. I've had my workout regime derailed, due to bad cramps occurring in my right calf muscle, which is not helping things any. I had a soak last night, which helped, but as it sits right now, I am still feeling. I think if … Continue reading Tired, but not overwhelmed…

A reminder that you aren’t alone…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Noise, Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com When I can't find something, my brain freaks out. I search all over for the misplaced item. My focus goes out the window, and I struggle. I had just such an occurrence happen yesterday. I couldn't find the clip-on sunglasses for my glasses. I searched my work bag. I … Continue reading A reminder that you aren’t alone…

Recognizing and adjusting…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, grief, growth, Habits, History, Hope, Hospital Admission, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com Mentally and emotionally, I feel hung over. The last couple of weeks have been challenging, but I feel like I am finally making good progress in my climb out of the valley of depression. Getting my sleep figured out has definitely been helping. The last couple of days especially, … Continue reading Recognizing and adjusting…

Face-Value…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Sub Nautica, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV on Pexels.com Slowly, but surely, my moods are starting normalize. Aside from having a hard time getting my butt out of bed this morning, today has been productive. I spent some time playing Sub Nautica, a really neat survival game that Sony has made free to play, and then this afternoon … Continue reading Face-Value…

Trauma…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, #Mental Health Monday, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, grief, growth, Habits, History, Hope, keystone habits, Learn from history!, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Trauma affects everyone differently. Some people are able to push through the trauma, leaving them relatively unscathed. Some may crawl into the bottle while others may turn to self-harm. Generally speaking, people affected by trauma can have problems with their self-esteem and their self-identity. They can lose track of who they are. While my mental … Continue reading Trauma…

Where I’m supposed to be…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, History, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, sparks, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

When I was a child, I wanted to be a marine biologist. As I got into high school my aspirations shifted, moving towards the Coast Guard or ambulance, of which I was fortunate to be able to get to work on the the latter. During my young adult years, I was all about working as … Continue reading Where I’m supposed to be…

Feeling inspired…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, #heroes, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, Colour spectrum, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fiction, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Heroes, Highlight reel, History, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Novel writing., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, sparks, Storms, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Lum3n on Pexels.com The fatigue I've been feeling is starting to get old. Yesterday was really bad. Today has been somewhat better, with the fatigue not starting to settle in until later in the day. Today has been quiet. With the fatigue kicking my ass I mainly played low today, reviewing some old … Continue reading Feeling inspired…

Dealing with change…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I'm struggling today. Photo by Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com The fatigue is really bad today, and I'm just feeling stressed with life in general. It doesn't help that my plans for today ended up going sideways; I had intended to do some work in the office today, working on researching my next assignment for my … Continue reading Dealing with change…

Self-care

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, grief, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today was a somewhat busy day. Being Friday, it was my day to cover the store. it wasn't overly busy, but it was steady. It did provide plenty of opportunity to get my next assignment edited and submitted. Five down, three to go. After I finished at the store, Lynn met me for supper, and … Continue reading Self-care

Course correction

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I officially need to back off things a bit. I'm feeling pretty good mentally, but I am getting tired. Physically, my blood pressure and blood sugar levels are stating to hate me as well. I've had som much going on that I haven't b been working out, and my diet has gone to crap, resulting … Continue reading Course correction

Productivity…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, PS4, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-harm, sheep dogs, small victories, Uncategorized, Uncharted, Writing Therapy

Today was a somewhat productive day. I started the day by letting myself sleep in a bit, then when I got mobile I started catching up on some office work that I had been neglecting for too long. Then I was out the door, doing another photoshoot with a previous client. After the photoshoot I … Continue reading Productivity…

Keeping busy, but finding downtime too.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Injured List, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Physical injury, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, The Outer Worlds, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today was steady. I didn't have a lot on the books schedule-wise, but after last night's council meeting I did spend a good chunk of my day researching and writing. However, that was broken up by a visit from my editor in Stettler. He's been on the job as the editor for the Stettler paper … Continue reading Keeping busy, but finding downtime too.

Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, grief, Habits, History, Hope, Hospital Admission, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Relapse, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Well, after a week, I finally had the opportunity to see Dr. M again. He had been keeping tabs on me through staff, but hadn't seen the need to actually meet with me every day, which I suppose is a good thing. He confirmed this morning that my discharge is set for Friday. I'm not … Continue reading Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

A task completed

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today had a little bit of everything thrown in. Knowing that I had a meeting tonight, I turned my alarms off and slept until 0900, then played some Red Dead Redemption 2 for a bit before walking Taffy, followed by some time in the office, working on some graphic design and photo work. For lunch, … Continue reading A task completed

Discomfort

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-harm, sheep dogs, Storms, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

The last couple of days have been busy. Between school, house-chores and writing for the paper I haven't had a bunch of downtime. I don't know why, but I found yesterday particularly hard. I had anxiety move into my chest yesterday morning, and it didn't budge all day. It led me to feel tired and … Continue reading Discomfort

knocking down trolls

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Blood doesn't make someone family. I broke my rule of not checking social media before bed last night, and saw that a family member left a troll-like comment on one of my previous posts where I was struggling mentally. It hurt that a family member could be so callous, telling me to "get a life" … Continue reading knocking down trolls

Going down swinging

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I've been better, I've been worse. I just wish I could shake this fatigue and low energy that is following me around like a big black dog. I'm dragging ass. I'm tired. I'm emotional. Yet, even as hard as life feels right now, I'm still standing. I may not be gaining ground, but I'm not … Continue reading Going down swinging