Tag: #Depression

An intentionally quiet Sunday…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in borderline personality disorder

Today was a bit better than yesterday, but I am still not in a great headspace. I'm feeling tired and unfocused. The self-harm urges are in check, but still a hell of a lot more prevalent than I would like. I'm glad I have an appointment with the therapist tomorrow. Based on how that appointment … Continue reading An intentionally quiet Sunday…

Feeling empty…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in borderline personality disorder

Photo by Alex Fu on Pexels.com This has been a busy, and stressful week. On Monday I took Lynn to Red Deer for an MRI, then had a meeting to cover for the paper that night. On Tuesday I had another meeting, followed by studying. Wednesday, I was at the Alliance Market with my photography … Continue reading Feeling empty…

Holding the line…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in borderline personality disorder

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com I've been struggling over the last few days. My energy has been low, and I've been feeling totally drained. I have been having a hard time engaging in life, and feeling like I'm actually living. Despite how crappy I've been feeling, I've been pushing through, staying at least somewhat … Continue reading Holding the line…

Forward progress…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in borderline personality disorder

Photo by Ru0131dvan u00d6ner on Pexels.com After a weekend away, I hit the ground running today. This morning was spent catching up on some coursework, then I joined Lynn for lunch at the shop before heading up to Alliance to cover an event. After the event, it was grabbing a couple groceries before head home … Continue reading Forward progress…

Catching up…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Hope, journalism, just for fun, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, Self-harm, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I can't believe it's been a week since I last updated my blog. It's been a busy week. I ended up covering the bookstore for three days last week, one of which was planned, and then on Friday took off for a guys weekend with my friend C. I'm definitely feeling relaxed after my time … Continue reading Catching up…

Mental health Monday: Looking forward…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, #Mental Health Monday, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, History, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

In what was an incredibly quick turnaround, I received my marks back from the final exam I wrote last week, and I am not unhappy with the results. I ended up scoring 87 per cent on the exam, which gave me an 85 overall average for the composition course. On the down side, it was … Continue reading Mental health Monday: Looking forward…

Transition period…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, borderline personality disorder, bpd

Today, I closed a chapter on my schooling: I wrote the final exam for my introductory composition course. I think the exam when well. At least I'm feeling pretty good about it. The exam consisted of a full essay, three other paragraphs, and 20 multiple choice questions focusing on the 15 common mistakes in composition. … Continue reading Transition period…

Where have three years gone? 650 posts…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, #Mental Health Monday, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, Can't Hurt Me, Colour spectrum, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Jessica Lewis on Pexels.com I've fallen of writing as frequently as I was. Between work and school I've been busy. I've actually been maintaining a level of activity that that I didn't think would be possible again. I haven't been as busy as I am now since I quit working full-time on the … Continue reading Where have three years gone? 650 posts…

Driven…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, #heroes, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

As far as my schooling goes, one chapter is drawing to a close and another is beginning. I got my marks for my final assignment, and despite the piece not being one of my strongest submissions, I still managed to keep my mark into the eighties, which is a relief. The instructor commented that I … Continue reading Driven…

Adding up…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, branding, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by George Becker on Pexels.com The fatigue is back, and it feels like it's brought reinforcements. I've been tired over the past few days, and it doesn't seem to matter how much I sleep. I ended up taking last weekend off from my workout routine, and I have yet to get back into it. … Continue reading Adding up…

Pushing through your limits…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #bloggingbranding, #Growth, #heroes, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, David Goggins Motivation, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Military Motivation, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., NavySEALs, Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, SEALMotivation, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Lee Catherine Collins on Pexels.com Today has been... productive. After filming the Pastor's devotional this morning, I headed home, did the editing and then uploaded it to Facebook. After that I dug into my school work, and completed a passable first draft of my next assignment for university. All told, the essay comes … Continue reading Pushing through your limits…

Steadily moving forward…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Cody King on Pexels.com I'm definitely feeling some fatigue tonight, but then again it's been a busy day. I was up and out early this morning, because I had a table at the Castor Farmer's market with my photography. The market was pretty quiet, but still not bad. I sold three of my … Continue reading Steadily moving forward…

My own worst enemy…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Depression, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by William Choquette on Pexels.com I'm stressing myself out, and I know it. I've been working on my last assignment for the English course I am taking, and despite knowing what I want to say, I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts down. I've probably started the damn document ten times in the … Continue reading My own worst enemy…

Pushing through the discomfort…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Can't Hurt Me, Colour spectrum, contemplation, Contentment, David Goggins Motivation, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Military Motivation, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, SEALMotivation, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, Sports, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com "Don't quit when you're tired, quit when you're done," is a quote by former Navy SEAL turned motivational speaker, David Goggins. At a quick blush, it seems like sound, and easy, advice to follow. Peeling back the layers of this quote unlock something else though. With the fatigue I've … Continue reading Pushing through the discomfort…

A day of (sort of) rest…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Novel writing., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I took a day away from my studies today. That said, it wasn't that I did nothing today. We had church this morning, then went for lunch, just Lynn and I. After lunch, we headed home, and I cut the lawn. More specifically, I cut the back yard....the front lawn … Continue reading A day of (sort of) rest…

Hanging onto the feeling…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, The Outer Worlds, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been quiet. I spent some time playing "The Outer Worlds," which I am really enjoying. As well, I did some chores at home, did a workout, and spent a solid couple hours working on my next assignment for school. I'm down to crunch time. I have until the end of the month to … Continue reading Hanging onto the feeling…

Reasons for optimism…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I connected with my new therapist today. The appointment started off bumpy, but by the time we finished our session I was feeling pretty good about things. With any luck this one lasts longer than my last one. We'll find out once I get a few more sessions in. I'm really hoping this one works … Continue reading Reasons for optimism…

Keeping focused…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, Sports, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Today has been another steady day, though with this heat wave we are in I had a hard time shaking the lead out of my ass this morning. I don't know why, but I just had a hell of a time dragging myself into the office today. Still, I managed … Continue reading Keeping focused…

The rest of the story…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, Self-Discipline, Self-harm, sheep dogs, Storms, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Over the last two decades that I've dealt with my mental health issues, I've gone from happy and healthy to suicidal and depressed and back again. I am easy to read, and when I'm struggling most of the people close to me can read me like a book. Still, when … Continue reading The rest of the story…

Grateful for a bit of down-time…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Stress, suicide survivor, The Outer Worlds, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I am always grateful for light days. With nothing on the agenda and with how fatigued I've been feeling I cut myself some slack today. I played a couple hours of "The Outer Worlds," did some reading for my next assignment, did a couple of miles on the treadmill, and participated in an online forum … Continue reading Grateful for a bit of down-time…

Pushing through…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Self-care, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been another high fatigue day. I'm getting over it. Still, despite the fatigue I managed to have a fairly productive day. Church went well this morning, and after church we came home and I made lunch. This afternoon I did a run out to Halkirk for an errand, then came home and finished … Continue reading Pushing through…

Opposite action

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, suicide survivor, The Outer Worlds, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Ruel Madelo on Pexels.com One tool that has helped me significantly in my mental struggles is the concept of opposite action. Simply put, opposite action is doing the opposite of what you are feeling at a given time. Don't feel like getting out of bed? Get out of bed anyways. Don't feel like … Continue reading Opposite action

Setting SMART goals

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, Storms, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com I've really got enjoy a relatively laid back day. First thing this morning I headed up to Alliance for an errand, before coming home and settling into the office for a few hours. I polished off and submitted a couple of stories for both the Advance and the Independent, before … Continue reading Setting SMART goals

Paying off…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, sparks, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I ended up working a pretty quiet day at the store today. Lynn was out of commission with a migraine, and seeing as I had a light day I offered to cover. Despite the store being quiet, I was not unproductive. I ended up getting a couple of articles written, and I have a couple … Continue reading Paying off…

A bit of good news…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Not a bad day all around, today. I was up and out early for a meeting this morning, which was long and panful, but part of the job. At least it will give me a couple more articles to write for this week. After the meeting ended, I stopped at the store to have lunch … Continue reading A bit of good news…