Category: Suicidal Mind

I remember 9/11

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Habits, Highlight reel, History, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, Self-harm, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

It's been eighteen years since the world was changed on that fateful September day. I remember, like a lot of people, exactly where I was when I heard the news that international terrorism had hit the shores of NorthAmerica. I remember turning on the television minutes before the news showed the second plane hitting the … Continue reading I remember 9/11

PTSD in First Responders

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Habits, journalism, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Trauma is a part of life. It happens everyday to people across the world. Here's the thing with trauma. The brain is not equipped to handle it. Working on Ambulance I came upon more than enough trauma, and it left it's mark on me. The fatalities are bad memories, but the ones with with severe … Continue reading PTSD in First Responders

Thin ice and mules…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Scars, Self-care, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I had my appointment with H today in Stettler. He saw before I walked in that I was struggling. He asked me what was up. He asked me if I was taking my meds as prescribed. Then he asked me; "How much can a donkey carry?" I'll admit, I kind of looked at him blankly … Continue reading Thin ice and mules…

Going down swinging

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I've been better, I've been worse. I just wish I could shake this fatigue and low energy that is following me around like a big black dog. I'm dragging ass. I'm tired. I'm emotional. Yet, even as hard as life feels right now, I'm still standing. I may not be gaining ground, but I'm not … Continue reading Going down swinging

Clean slate

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goals, Habits, History, Hope, journalism, just for fun, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., People are easily offended, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

People have good days and bad days. For me, yesterday was definitely the later. Yesterday was a low energy, low mood kind of day. I'm frustrated. I took the trip to Calgary to rest and recover and try and gain some balance with my mental health. The trip was supposed to recharge and refresh me, … Continue reading Clean slate

Progress…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fatigue is a hallucinogen, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., NaNoWrMo, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Despite the moods being up and down, today has been ok. I ended up hitting the treadmill today, and ended up fast walking 3 miles while watching a podcast on Youtube. The three miles took me just over an hour to complete, and allowed me to physically work through some of my stress. The three … Continue reading Progress…

Recovery at the edge of the abyss

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, Self-harm, sheep dogs, Storms, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Mood-wise, things are still turbulent, but they seem to be easing. I'm still not in a great headspace, but it's routine battling back from the edge of the abyss. Yesterday went reasonably well. We attended our friend's wedding and I even attended the party for a short while before my senses were totally overwhelmed by … Continue reading Recovery at the edge of the abyss