Category: Suicidal Mind

Progress…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fatigue is a hallucinogen, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., NaNoWrMo, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Despite the moods being up and down, today has been ok. I ended up hitting the treadmill today, and ended up fast walking 3 miles while watching a podcast on Youtube. The three miles took me just over an hour to complete, and allowed me to physically work through some of my stress. The three … Continue reading Progress…

Recovery at the edge of the abyss

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, Self-harm, sheep dogs, Storms, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Mood-wise, things are still turbulent, but they seem to be easing. I'm still not in a great headspace, but it's routine battling back from the edge of the abyss. Yesterday went reasonably well. We attended our friend's wedding and I even attended the party for a short while before my senses were totally overwhelmed by … Continue reading Recovery at the edge of the abyss

War with myself

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Habits, keystone habits, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today I'm finding my anxiety peaked and my energy level has dropped off a cliff. Not a great combination. I'm tired. I feel like I could sleep for a week. The thing that sucks is I don't know what the trigger was for this slide. Things have been going well. Work has been keeping me … Continue reading War with myself

Can’t Hurt Me; Challenge One

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, David Goggins Motivation, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Habits, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

So, I've read through the first chapter of David Goggins book Can't Hurt Me, and to say the least, it's been an intense read. At the end of the first chapter, Goggins challenges the reader to catalogue the reasons why they shouldn't be successful, and the challenges they've had to overcome. For me, this challenge … Continue reading Can’t Hurt Me; Challenge One

Content Warning; My story next steps and suicide attempt

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, History, Hospital Admission, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Scars, Self-care, Self-harm, sheep dogs, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

After I left the ambulance in the fall of 2013, I was in a tailspin. I ended up in hospital for two separate admissions approaching six weeks in length, under the same doctor, who was also my treating doctor in the community. Through this point he still refused to give me a diagnosis of Post … Continue reading Content Warning; My story next steps and suicide attempt

Little decisions.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I was up and moving by quarter after seven this morning. Considering how much I've been struggling to get up before nine the last few days because of fatigue, 7:15 was an accomplishment. It's not that I didn't want to stay in bed. I did. I however did have things I wanted to get done … Continue reading Little decisions.

Wallpapering fog…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, coffee...., Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fatigue is a hallucinogen, Fuck Mental Illness, Hope, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Perspective, ptsd, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Well, today did not go as planned... I let my bedtime routine get messed up last night, and as a result I forgot my meds. As a result I did not sleep worth crap. I finally realised my error around 3 a.m. After some prompting from Lynn I took them then headed back to bed … Continue reading Wallpapering fog…