I remember 9/11

It's been eighteen years since the world was changed on that fateful September day. I remember, like a lot of people, exactly where I was when I heard the news that international terrorism had hit the shores of NorthAmerica. I remember turning on the television minutes before the news showed the second plane hitting the … Continue reading I remember 9/11

PTSD in First Responders

Trauma is a part of life. It happens everyday to people across the world. Here's the thing with trauma. The brain is not equipped to handle it. Working on Ambulance I came upon more than enough trauma, and it left it's mark on me. The fatalities are bad memories, but the ones with with severe … Continue reading PTSD in First Responders

Thin ice and mules…

I had my appointment with H today in Stettler. He saw before I walked in that I was struggling. He asked me what was up. He asked me if I was taking my meds as prescribed. Then he asked me; "How much can a donkey carry?" I'll admit, I kind of looked at him blankly … Continue reading Thin ice and mules…

Going down swinging

I've been better, I've been worse. I just wish I could shake this fatigue and low energy that is following me around like a big black dog. I'm dragging ass. I'm tired. I'm emotional. Yet, even as hard as life feels right now, I'm still standing. I may not be gaining ground, but I'm not … Continue reading Going down swinging

Clean slate

People have good days and bad days. For me, yesterday was definitely the later. Yesterday was a low energy, low mood kind of day. I'm frustrated. I took the trip to Calgary to rest and recover and try and gain some balance with my mental health. The trip was supposed to recharge and refresh me, … Continue reading Clean slate

Progress…

Despite the moods being up and down, today has been ok. I ended up hitting the treadmill today, and ended up fast walking 3 miles while watching a podcast on Youtube. The three miles took me just over an hour to complete, and allowed me to physically work through some of my stress. The three … Continue reading Progress…

Recovery at the edge of the abyss

Mood-wise, things are still turbulent, but they seem to be easing. I'm still not in a great headspace, but it's routine battling back from the edge of the abyss. Yesterday went reasonably well. We attended our friend's wedding and I even attended the party for a short while before my senses were totally overwhelmed by … Continue reading Recovery at the edge of the abyss