Seeing in grey…

Recovery in mental illness is hard. It's not like a physical injury that can be seen. There is no casino splints, nothing visual that clues people in that something is wrong. Mental illness is all internal. Mental illness is painful. It affects relationships. It makes you question your own abilities and confidence. For significant mental … Continue reading Seeing in grey…

Productivity in Recovery…

Kevin J Sabo photo Today, I'm feeling optimistic. I received my marks back for my latest essay, and while I did not do as well as I was wanting, I did do better than I was expecting, scoring above 80 per cent, which I am not going to complain about. With this assignment done and … Continue reading Productivity in Recovery…

Rusting out versus burning out…

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com During my session with M on Monday, we got talking about how much I've been taking on. In particular, he introduced me to the concept of burning out versus rusting out. In his opinion I am not in danger of the latter, but the former is definitely something I need … Continue reading Rusting out versus burning out…

A restful July 1…

Photo by Social Soup Social Media on Pexels.com Things have been quiet today. I spent some more time prepping myself for the market tomorrow, and spent some more time unwinding playing Spiderman on the Playstation 4. I think I've nearly completed the game, but it's definitely been a fun one to play. The developers, Insomniac … Continue reading A restful July 1…

Trying to give my brain a break…

Today has found me a bit better than yesterday, though I am still feeling fatigued, stressed, and generally emotional. It's been a quiet day today. I made pancakes for lunch for Lynn and I, and then played an hour of Spider Man on the Playstation 4, before settling in to the office to do a … Continue reading Trying to give my brain a break…

Sometimes doing nothing is doing something…

Today hasn't been a great mental health day. My moods and energy level have definitely been low, and I have been having a hell of a time managing to get anything done. My ambition has just ben gone. I have a couple stories for work that I need to write and I just haven't been … Continue reading Sometimes doing nothing is doing something…

Waking up functional…

Today wasn't as productive as I would have liked, but it was still productive none-the-less. I started the morning doing some telephone interviews for a story I'm working on, then it was off to the store for the day. The store was quiet, but I did manage to get some creative writing done. I attempted … Continue reading Waking up functional…

Maintaining…

This morning Lynn and I were up and out a bit earlier than normal, to pick up a new A-frame that we are going to repurpose for the store, because the one down there is too small and light for the task. After we got back from that, I logged into my free webinar I … Continue reading Maintaining…

Not every day is going to be a good one…bad days happen too…

I'm struggling today. I know I've been feeling the darkness creeping in over the last few days. My anxiety has been a lot higher, and my concentration and motivation have both been proving challenging. I definitely have not been as productive over the last couple days as I have been over the last little while. … Continue reading Not every day is going to be a good one…bad days happen too…

Tired but accomplished…

Today was another office day, cleaning up more work from my interviews and photos I took yesterday. I managed to get four stories done and submitted which has me pretty close to being caught up for the time being. I have one more story that I can start work on, however until I get some … Continue reading Tired but accomplished…

Reflex… DBT Skill

Today is one of those days that I'm feeling like I accomplished nothing, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. I was up around 9:30, and played some Red Dead Redemption 2 for a bit while Lynn slept. After she got up, I caught up on some dishes, vacuumed, and cleaned up the back yard … Continue reading Reflex… DBT Skill

Going Forward… Goals

I'm sitting at over 560 blog posts since I started this journey in the fall of 2017. That's a lot of time behind the keyboard. I am grateful from my community support in doing this blog, and have no plans to end it any time soon, however lately I have been thinking about what my … Continue reading Going Forward… Goals

Getting through this pandemic…

Despite my anxiety being peaked with everything going on in the world, I think I'm doing okay. I've managed to get myself back into a regular workout routine, even re-introducing the weight component with yesterday's workout. So far, I've been on the treadmill everyday this week for 30 to 40 minutes, and I'm already noticing … Continue reading Getting through this pandemic…

Weathering the storm…

Tonight, I find myself in a contemplative mood. I found out today that the paper is struggling today, due to ad revenue fleeing because of the pandemic. According to the letter from the publisher, if things don't change, the paper may not survive through to the other side of this. It has me considering my … Continue reading Weathering the storm…

Skills work amid Covid-19

A pretty light day today. I caught up on some housework, played some Playstation, and disappeared into the backcountry with a friend to take some photos. I didn't end up taking many this afternoon, but I did get a few good ones. My friend B and I were doing some exploring at an old graveyard … Continue reading Skills work amid Covid-19

Why I’m not panicking, yet…

One thing that is really surprising about all the events going on in the world is that my anxiety is not climbing. There could be a few reasons why this situation isn't affecting me more: I already live with a heightened state of awareness due to my anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and this … Continue reading Why I’m not panicking, yet…

Getting by with a bit of inconvenience…

Today has been another quiet day. I let myself sleep in again, trying to kick the remainder of this bug I've been fighting, and aside from heading out to grab groceries haven't been up to much. I've done a bit of gaming, rendering the world of Farcry 5, and also did some grocery shopping, and … Continue reading Getting by with a bit of inconvenience…

Not 100 per cent.. :(

My weekend has ended up differently than I was anticipating. I had a couple events to cover yesterday and was planning on going to church today, however those didn't happen. I ended up waking up with a headache yesterday morning, which progressed to a fever and chills as the day went on. I did escape … Continue reading Not 100 per cent.. 😦

Good and bad…

The ride-along I was supposed to be doing with our local ambulance crew didn't end up happening. Because of the COVID-19 cases in the province our provincial health authority ended up suspending the entire ride-along program. I'm taking it as both a good and bad thing. It's good because I was worrying about how I … Continue reading Good and bad…

A battle in the war…

I am currently sitting at one of the longest writing streaks that I've had, having done a blog daily for the last 28 days. With my fitness regime, I'm sitting at 4 days straight, which is the longest streak I've had in quite awhile, though I am still keeping at my low intensity workouts for … Continue reading A battle in the war…

Living up to your dash…

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com I was recently watching a motivational video on Youtube, and came across a concept that has kind of stuck with me. The short version is, when we die, as we all inevitably will, what is on our tombstone? Usually your date of birth, a dash, and your date … Continue reading Living up to your dash…

Early Morning Peace…

I always forget how much I enjoy the predawn quiet in the house. Lately I haven't even been setting an alarm, because it didn't seem to matter what I tried, I couldn't talk myself into getting out of bed, and as a result I've been sleeping in later and later. With my schedule being kind … Continue reading Early Morning Peace…

Refocus

Despite the best of intentions, everyone can lose sight of their goals sometimes. Throw in mental health struggles, and the very effort of survival can throw goals a little off course, or right out of sight. Thinking about the last few weeks, I can see that despite the forward progress I've continued to make, that … Continue reading Refocus

Busy with goals…

Our theatre performance has finished for another year. With my involvement in practises running since January and the eight recent performances, it's been a buys few weeks. It's been a nice diversion, but truth be told, I'm kind of glad that it's wrapped. It has been a big commitment of time and energy, and now … Continue reading Busy with goals…

Looking forward to routine…

I've been busy over the past week, and I'm feeling it. My energy has still been such that I am managing to make it through the day and get done what I need to, but I haven't had much energy for anything else. That's been the frustrating part. I continue to lose the war with … Continue reading Looking forward to routine…