Category: poetry

Poetry: How is Today Going to be?

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, just for fun, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, poetry, poetry, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

The first thought I have every morning when I wake up is “How is today going to be?”             Why do I ask this of myself? It’s quite simple, really. I suffer from several different mental health conditions that cause my emotions to be unstable. When I wake up, I wake up not knowing if the … Continue reading Poetry: How is Today Going to be?

I’m…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Habits, journalism, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Noise, Perspective, poetry, poetry, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Scars, Self-harm, sparks, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

My anxiety is peaked today, and I find myself battling with my thoughts and my emotions. I'm tired of the noise in my mind. I'm tired of constantly being on edge. I'm tired of the feeling that I am walking on eggshells around everybody. I'm tired of the suicidal thoughts invading my mind again, drowning … Continue reading I’m…

The reflection

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Hope, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, poetry, poetry, ptsd, Self-care, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I look in the mirrorwhat do I seebut a stranger looking back at me. I blink my eyes, and the stranger remains in my sight.How does he copy my every move?How does he seem to know my every action as I make it?The man in the mirror is a strangersomeone I do not know,who looks … Continue reading The reflection

Trigger Warning: very dark place in my mind. (Untitled)

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, poetry, ptsd, Self-harm, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

This is the last, and darkest piece of poetry I wrote during my latest admission. It does not reflect my current state of mind. The urge to harm myself hit me today,wave after wave, I fend off the assault by my mind.I did not sleep well,shat should be 8, took 11My brain lies to me,it tells … Continue reading Trigger Warning: very dark place in my mind. (Untitled)

The Psirens song…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, poetry, ptsd, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

The call of the psiren embraces my mind,the lure of peace tugs at my soul,the psiren is a liar, a liar with promises of gold.The song of the psiren is alluring,the call of the psiren holds promise,the psiren is known by many names.SatanDevilThe Fallen oneThe reaperDeathThe psiren's call has lured manyI am in good companyYet,I still … Continue reading The Psirens song…

Fractured Faith…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., poetry, poetry, ptsd, Self-care, Storms, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

BelieversFriendsFamilyPeople taken before their time.I strive to believe. I fight to believe.There must be a purpose to it all, right?My faith has been strong,my belief unshakeable,now fractured into dust.I don't understand, Lord.Help me understand, Lord.Friends falling ill,Family gone before their time,They are all at peace now,At peace with You.My Faith has been testes and left fractured,I … Continue reading Fractured Faith…

The Pendulum

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, poetry, ptsd, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Life is a pendulumDon't you see?You swing through lifelike a monkey through a treeUp and downa person swingsfrom young to oldyou shall swingThrough happiness,and sadness, and back againthe swing shall beYou cannot get through life without a swing,Up and downthe waves will assault youuntil you think you'll drownKeep your head above water they say,you must hang … Continue reading The Pendulum

The Reaper…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, Fuck Mental Illness, poetry, poetry, ptsd, Self-care, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Life and Death are parts of the same, a coin tossed by the reaper as he approaches his preyLife and DeathAre parts of the samenoise on the channelwhile watching the game.No one who lives escapes deathbecause they are linkedby reaper's fate.Though we do trywe can not heal allOur minds and bodies are fragileand the reaper over-rules … Continue reading The Reaper…

The path through the darkness

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Fiction, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Hope, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., poetry, poetry, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Writing Therapy

The shriek of the radio tears through the night. Another night's sleep wrecked. It's time to go to work. Another interaction with people having the worst day of their lives. Another person gone too soon. We are highly trained. We are highly motivated. We do this job so others may live. Photo by Pixabay on … Continue reading The path through the darkness

The long road behind me.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., poetry, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

  Talking to people in the city, some of them think that small towns are too quiet. I can personally attest to the fact that that particular assessment is incorrect, at least for the town I call home. Since I was discharged from hospital in the beginning of September, I have been busy. Today alone, … Continue reading The long road behind me.

The battle in the dark.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fiction, Fuck Mental Illness, Mental health, Mental Health recovery, poetry, ptsd, Storms, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Writing Therapy

The long white halls, Door after door of those in pain. I have been here before, The darkness has returned. For many long years, The hallways have been my safe place, Receding here when the darkness returns. The journey has not been easy. The journey has not been pleasant. The scars on my body a … Continue reading The battle in the dark.

Ghosts

by thrutheashesblog, posted in Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Emergency medical services, ems, Fiction, Fuck Mental Illness, Mental health, Mental Health recovery, poetry, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Ghosts linger in everyone's life. Memories of life lived. Memories of those gone before us. I carry my ghosts in my memories. My ghosts are the ones. The ones I couldn't save. I'm haunted by flashes of the past. I remember you, ghosts. I remember how you died. I remember telling your family That there … Continue reading Ghosts

Falling

by thrutheashesblog, posted in borderline personality disorder, bpd, Mental health, poetry, poetry, ptsd, Uncategorized

Falling. Everything falls some time. The stars fall into black holes. Satellites fall from orbit. Civilizations rise and fall. People fall regularity. Physically, Spiritually, Mentally. Falling. Into the abyss. I tumble. I fall. I reach out. There is no one there. I dig in, I claw for a handhold. I arrest the fall as best … Continue reading Falling