Category: Legacy

Swimming along the wall…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, History, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Sometimes doing nothing is doing something. This weekend has been pretty lazy, but I'm not complaining. I've been feeling pretty drained over the last few days, and I'm not 100 per cent sure why. I know that between my writing, looking after the house, school, my photography, and everything else I've had going on, I've … Continue reading Swimming along the wall…

Why I’m not panicking, yet…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fiction, Fuck Mental Illness, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Noise, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

One thing that is really surprising about all the events going on in the world is that my anxiety is not climbing. There could be a few reasons why this situation isn't affecting me more: I already live with a heightened state of awareness due to my anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and this … Continue reading Why I’m not panicking, yet…

Getting by with a bit of inconvenience…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Novel writing., Original Story, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, Self-harm, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been another quiet day. I let myself sleep in again, trying to kick the remainder of this bug I've been fighting, and aside from heading out to grab groceries haven't been up to much. I've done a bit of gaming, rendering the world of Farcry 5, and also did some grocery shopping, and … Continue reading Getting by with a bit of inconvenience…

Good and bad…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, History, Hope, Hospital Admission, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., NaNoWrMo, Old habits die hard, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, sparks, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

The ride-along I was supposed to be doing with our local ambulance crew didn't end up happening. Because of the COVID-19 cases in the province our provincial health authority ended up suspending the entire ride-along program. I'm taking it as both a good and bad thing. It's good because I was worrying about how I … Continue reading Good and bad…

A battle in the war…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Ford Mustang, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, History, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Learn from history!, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I am currently sitting at one of the longest writing streaks that I've had, having done a blog daily for the last 28 days. With my fitness regime, I'm sitting at 4 days straight, which is the longest streak I've had in quite awhile, though I am still keeping at my low intensity workouts for … Continue reading A battle in the war…

Living up to your dash…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Can't Hurt Me, Colour spectrum, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, Learn from history!, learning new skills, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, sparks, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com I was recently watching a motivational video on Youtube, and came across a concept that has kind of stuck with me. The short version is, when we die, as we all inevitably will, what is on our tombstone? Usually your date of birth, a dash, and your date … Continue reading Living up to your dash…

Early Morning Peace…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, coffee...., contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Men In Black International, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, Sports, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I always forget how much I enjoy the predawn quiet in the house. Lately I haven't even been setting an alarm, because it didn't seem to matter what I tried, I couldn't talk myself into getting out of bed, and as a result I've been sleeping in later and later. With my schedule being kind … Continue reading Early Morning Peace…

Looking forward to routine…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, Discipline, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, sheep dogs, small victories, sparks, Sports, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I've been busy over the past week, and I'm feeling it. My energy has still been such that I am managing to make it through the day and get done what I need to, but I haven't had much energy for anything else. That's been the frustrating part. I continue to lose the war with … Continue reading Looking forward to routine…

Letting go…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, Politics, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Self-Discipline, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I'm feeling stressed out due to events totally beyond my control. Our elected provincial government is working on balancing the books and saving money, which I agree with, however the way they are going about it scares the hell out of me, particularly the changes they are making to health care. They have delisted procedures, … Continue reading Letting go…

We lost you a year ago…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, ;, Acceptance, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Hope, keystone habits, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I can't believe it's been a year since Lynn's sister passed away. It doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like just yesterday that she was in our home for the Christmas Holidays, yet I know that that particular memory is over a year old. The last time we saw Brenda was when … Continue reading We lost you a year ago…

Enjoying down-time

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, PS4, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, suicide survivor, the fast and the furious, The Outer Worlds, Writing Therapy

Today was the first real "day-off" I've had in a few weeks. The bad news, a chunk of it was playing catch up around the house. The good news is, even with the housework I worked at catching up on, I still managed to get in a couple hours of 'The Outer Worlds' on the … Continue reading Enjoying down-time

Faking self-confidence?

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Physical injury, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I've been feeling good, albeit tired, lately. I have truly been blessed and am grateful for the good I have in my life. My mental-health treatment goes well. I have a fantastic team up between M and H and my family doc. I still don't have a new psychiatrist yet, but with where I am … Continue reading Faking self-confidence?

How far?

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, David Goggins Motivation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Military Motivation, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

After a few days recovery time, I was back in my fitness studio today. My treadmill time today was 75 minutes, good for 3.5 miles. I was definitely Italy feeling my time away though. I maintained a decent pace for the first two miles, but I had to drop back a bit to finish out … Continue reading How far?

July 1, a retrospective on the first six months of 2019.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goals, grief, Habits, Hope, Hospital Admission, Injured List, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

At the half way point of the year, I find myself reflecting on the trials our family has faced. Losing Brenda in February, my subsequent hospital admission in March, some changes at the work, and the loss of friends causing me to attend more funerals this than I have been at in the last 10 … Continue reading July 1, a retrospective on the first six months of 2019.

Working hard

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been quiet in the store, but it's given me opportunity to catch up on some writing. I managed to get a couple of articles written from a meeting earlier in the week, as well as making some come calls and arrangements about other projects I'm working on. I'm definitely feeling better than I … Continue reading Working hard

the long goodbye…we will survive

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, grief, Hope, Legacy, loss, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Scars, Self-care, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

How do you even begin to say goodbye? That is a question that has been running through my mind today, as we say a final goodbye to my sister-in-law Brenda. Today was the day of her burial, after her sudden loss in the beginning of February. With the burial complete, we are closing one chapter … Continue reading the long goodbye…we will survive

Exploring the world around me.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Goals, Highlight reel, History, just for fun, Legacy, Mental Health recovery, Photography, ptsd, Road Trip!, Self-care, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today a friend and I met for lunch, then took off to explore this county around us. We covered a lot of ground, visiting four cemeteries that date back to the early 1900s, checked out a couple of old vehicles that have been left to decay on a long abandoned homestead, and checked out some … Continue reading Exploring the world around me.

Rebound

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Goal Setting, Goals, grief, Hope, journalism, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

After a busy evening last night, today is shaping up to be much more low key. Last night I ended up taking photos of a local service group making donations to several local charities and non-profits, then followed up by taking photos over at the towns curling rink of a bonspiel that is going on … Continue reading Rebound

Borrowed time

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, Impulse control, journalism, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Photography, PS4, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I think we are slowly slipping out of winter's grasp. I hope so anyways. I was reading somewhere that Alberta has not faced a cold this severe since the 1930s. I'm tired, but it feels like slowly I am putting myself back together, after the last month. I'm settling into a new routine with work … Continue reading Borrowed time

Overloaded

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Gaming, Goals, grief, Habits, Hope, journalism, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Photography, PS4, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Slowly, things are getting back into a groove. I've worked in the store a couple days this week and I've gone back to work chasing stories. Unfortunately with the time I had away, as much as I tried to stay on top of things, I am playing catch up. The last few days have been … Continue reading Overloaded

Trying to find an emotional balance.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goals, grief, Habits, History, Hope, journalism, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I am feeling broken. The weight of the last couple weeks seems to have landed on me today, leaving me tired, overwhelmed, and rung out. I know it's part of grief, that I will have good days and bad days. What makes the waters even murkier is the emotional volatility that I already deal with. … Continue reading Trying to find an emotional balance.

Sometimes doing nothing is doing something important.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Gaming, Goals, grief, Hope, journalism, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Well, I didn't get as much done today as I planned, but that's okay. After the events of the last couple of weeks, I definitely needed the down-time, because even my weekend off ended up being busy. After traveling home Friday, I ended up on the go for most of Saturday and Sunday, between theatre … Continue reading Sometimes doing nothing is doing something important.

Adjustments

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, Emergency medical services, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Hope, journalism, Legacy, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today is my fortieth birthday, and I'm home after a few days in Saskatchewan helping Lynn and the family say goodbye to Brenda after her sudden passing. My sister and I made it home on Friday, and then she carried on North, while I've been trying to get back into a new routine with the … Continue reading Adjustments

Why do we have to say goodbye?

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Goals, grief, Hope, Impulse control, journalism, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, momments, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Brenda's dogs, Taffy, Skor, and Rolo. Taffy and Rolo are coming home to join our furry family, and Skor has found a home as well. Yesterday was as upbeat a day as one can have while attending a funeral service. The funeral service was very beautifully done, and the message of the priest was very … Continue reading Why do we have to say goodbye?