Category: Impulse control

Gratitude, growth, and future plans

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, Hospital Admission, Impulse control, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I'm home after nearly two weeks in hospital. My moods are definitely mixed with this admission. I feel like I walked out of the hospital stronger than I ever have in the past. I definitely got more out of this admission than some previous ones, and I feel like there is a plan firmly in … Continue reading Gratitude, growth, and future plans

CW: Rollercoaster…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Habits, Hope, Impulse control, journalism, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Physical injury, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-harm, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Edit: today continued to decline and the suicidal thoughts hit me in a wave so hard I had to stop driving as I broke down completely. Definitely not a good day, but my doctor is fitting me in today. I have way too much going on to be this damn tired. While yesterday was an … Continue reading CW: Rollercoaster…

CW: Mental health relapse/update

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, Anxiety, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Impulse control, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-harm, Storms, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I know I've been absent over the last few days, and that my most recent post was locked. I'll be honest, with the fatigue I've been feeling extending into it's second week, I have not been at my best mentally. I've been struggling with impulsivity, self-harm urges, and ever darkening thoughts. I'm hoping that the … Continue reading CW: Mental health relapse/update

Scars

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Hope, Impulse control, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Scars, Self-care, Self-harm, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Scar:a mark left on the skin or within body tissue where a wound, burn, or sore has not healed completely and fibrous connective tissue has developed. (Google dictionary) I have scars covering a good portion of my arms and legs. Like a road map, they criss-cross my skin, each one a testament to battles fought … Continue reading Scars

A piece of my recovery

by thrutheashesblog, posted in Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Hope, Impulse control, learning new skills, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Perspective, ptsd, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

As I sit back in my chair soaking in the sun as it crosses the morning horizon I contemplate the journey of life I have been on. Since I left EMS in 2013 my life has been a roller coaster of highs and lows. It's seen too many hospital stays during my worst, and even … Continue reading A piece of my recovery

Borrowed time

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, Impulse control, journalism, learning new skills, Legacy, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Photography, PS4, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I think we are slowly slipping out of winter's grasp. I hope so anyways. I was reading somewhere that Alberta has not faced a cold this severe since the 1930s. I'm tired, but it feels like slowly I am putting myself back together, after the last month. I'm settling into a new routine with work … Continue reading Borrowed time

Why do we have to say goodbye?

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Goals, grief, Hope, Impulse control, journalism, Legacy, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, momments, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Brenda's dogs, Taffy, Skor, and Rolo. Taffy and Rolo are coming home to join our furry family, and Skor has found a home as well. Yesterday was as upbeat a day as one can have while attending a funeral service. The funeral service was very beautifully done, and the message of the priest was very … Continue reading Why do we have to say goodbye?