Recognizing and adjusting…

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com Mentally and emotionally, I feel hung over. The last couple of weeks have been challenging, but I feel like I am finally making good progress in my climb out of the valley of depression. Getting my sleep figured out has definitely been helping. The last couple of days especially, … Continue reading Recognizing and adjusting…

Crosses…

I live in a rural community. To facilitate travel, the area I live in is criss-crossed with highways. They are just like highways you will find anywhere in the prairies. Long. Straight. Dotted with crosses on the side of the highway, signifying where someone somebody loved came to a tragic ending. This cross is all … Continue reading Crosses…

Trauma…

Trauma affects everyone differently. Some people are able to push through the trauma, leaving them relatively unscathed. Some may crawl into the bottle while others may turn to self-harm. Generally speaking, people affected by trauma can have problems with their self-esteem and their self-identity. They can lose track of who they are. While my mental … Continue reading Trauma…

Stay Strong…

I have dealt with mental health issues for the better part of the last two decades. Over the years, doctors have given me multiple diagnoses, with the main two being Borderline Personality Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, though anxiety and depression are both factors as well. Medications have been a part of my treatment … Continue reading Stay Strong…

Well, after a big push today with the help of B, my new office is functional. I still have a few things to organize, however it is already a drastic improvement over the my previous space. Aside from the other space being a spare room, in addition to my office, we're also going to be … Continue reading

No complaints

Well, the last few days have been busy. I've been heavy into study mode, with my final exam taking place a week from Friday. In addition to the studying, work has been keeping me busy as well. I covered the store for Lynn today so she could get some work finished up at the church, … Continue reading No complaints

Two years…

Today marks a somber anniversary in our home. Two years ago we lost Lynn's sister, who had a minor procedure done on her knee, then threw a blood clot and passed away a week later. The two years that have gone by since her passing have been both astonishingly fast and agonizingly slow at the … Continue reading Two years…

Whatever comes my way…

I'm slowly making progress in my 20th Century History course. After around a month of work put into it, I finally got my second assignment polished up and submitted. With that weight off, I can focus on the last four modules of this course, focusing on post World War 2 life and the start of … Continue reading Whatever comes my way…

Crawl before I walk, walk before I run…

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com Well, after a much needed break, I am back at it again. Despite spending some of Sunday in the office working on my school stuff, I did manage to take it mainly easy, watching some television with Lynn. Monday was supposed to be an office day, working on school stuff, … Continue reading Crawl before I walk, walk before I run…

Calm…

I'm feeling calm, even centred, tonight. It's been a busy day. I had a meeting to cover this morning, followed by an appointment with M this afternoon. We had a good conversation, covering a lot of ground, talking about things I want to work on in 2021. He said that I seem calmer, more relaxed … Continue reading Calm…

Pulling back into my 3 ft. world…

I'd like to thank the new followers on this blog. I appreciate the support, and am encouraged by the slow growth I've been having. After some deliberations, I've decided to press pause on my YouTube channel, instead focusing on my blog here. While I still intend to start filming later on in the year, at … Continue reading Pulling back into my 3 ft. world…

Feeling good, and balanced…

The last few days have absolutely flown by. I'm happy to say that after a two-week break to let my ankle injury heal I am back in the gym. I'm not jumping right back into things, however. I'm starting off by extending my treadmill routine a bit every day, reintroducing weights in a few days. … Continue reading Feeling good, and balanced…

Where am I going from here? On the right path…

Photo by Filippo Peisino on Pexels.com This week has been busy, but good so far. With the exception of this morning, I've been continuing to get up around 0600, and get a workout done early in the day. I let myself sleep in until 0800 this morning just due to not getting home until later … Continue reading Where am I going from here? On the right path…

Busy with goals…

Our theatre performance has finished for another year. With my involvement in practises running since January and the eight recent performances, it's been a buys few weeks. It's been a nice diversion, but truth be told, I'm kind of glad that it's wrapped. It has been a big commitment of time and energy, and now … Continue reading Busy with goals…

I’m…

My anxiety is peaked today, and I find myself battling with my thoughts and my emotions. I'm tired of the noise in my mind. I'm tired of constantly being on edge. I'm tired of the feeling that I am walking on eggshells around everybody. I'm tired of the suicidal thoughts invading my mind again, drowning … Continue reading I’m…

We lost you a year ago…

I can't believe it's been a year since Lynn's sister passed away. It doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like just yesterday that she was in our home for the Christmas Holidays, yet I know that that particular memory is over a year old. The last time we saw Brenda was when … Continue reading We lost you a year ago…

Looking back, looking forward…

Christmas is done for another year and I, for one, am glad. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the holidays. I also enjoy when they end. This year has been additionally hard, with it being the first Christmas since Brenda passed away. However, we have gotten through it at least somewhat unscathed. That's not to … Continue reading Looking back, looking forward…

Self-care

Today was a somewhat busy day. Being Friday, it was my day to cover the store. it wasn't overly busy, but it was steady. It did provide plenty of opportunity to get my next assignment edited and submitted. Five down, three to go. After I finished at the store, Lynn met me for supper, and … Continue reading Self-care

Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

Well, after a week, I finally had the opportunity to see Dr. M again. He had been keeping tabs on me through staff, but hadn't seen the need to actually meet with me every day, which I suppose is a good thing. He confirmed this morning that my discharge is set for Friday. I'm not … Continue reading Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

I remember 9/11

It's been eighteen years since the world was changed on that fateful September day. I remember, like a lot of people, exactly where I was when I heard the news that international terrorism had hit the shores of NorthAmerica. I remember turning on the television minutes before the news showed the second plane hitting the … Continue reading I remember 9/11

Shifting winds of life

Today was a quieter day. I covered the store this morning while Lynn had her table set up at our local monthly Farmers Market. The store was dead while I was in there, but apparently it got pretty busy after Lynn took over. After Lynn relieved me at the store, I headed up to the … Continue reading Shifting winds of life

Breaking Away

I'm almost feeling guilty, but I'm breaking away for a few days. I'm heading down to Calgary to re-connect with some friends and get away and clear my mind. The reason I'm almost feeling guilty is because I'm leaving Lynn at home on her own with the dogs, during GISH no less. It's what I … Continue reading Breaking Away

I am not where I wanted to be, but I’m finding my passion again.

A pretty light day today. I had an appointment at the weight loss clinic in our medical practise today, and found out that I have lost 6 pounds of fat and gained a pound and a half of muscle in the last eight weeks. Considering I feel like I plateaued, that is still some significant … Continue reading I am not where I wanted to be, but I’m finding my passion again.

July 1, a retrospective on the first six months of 2019.

At the half way point of the year, I find myself reflecting on the trials our family has faced. Losing Brenda in February, my subsequent hospital admission in March, some changes at the work, and the loss of friends causing me to attend more funerals this than I have been at in the last 10 … Continue reading July 1, a retrospective on the first six months of 2019.

Content Warning: Strike Two in my descent into PTSD

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com **Any names have been changed for privacy concerns.** The tones dropped just after 2300 hours.  I’d been in bed for an hour already, but while I was at work I was always primed to respond to a call. Just for good measure my partner pounded on the wall between our … Continue reading Content Warning: Strike Two in my descent into PTSD