Seeing in grey…

Recovery in mental illness is hard. It's not like a physical injury that can be seen. There is no casino splints, nothing visual that clues people in that something is wrong. Mental illness is all internal. Mental illness is painful. It affects relationships. It makes you question your own abilities and confidence. For significant mental … Continue reading Seeing in grey…

Productivity in Recovery…

Kevin J Sabo photo Today, I'm feeling optimistic. I received my marks back for my latest essay, and while I did not do as well as I was wanting, I did do better than I was expecting, scoring above 80 per cent, which I am not going to complain about. With this assignment done and … Continue reading Productivity in Recovery…

Rusting out versus burning out…

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com During my session with M on Monday, we got talking about how much I've been taking on. In particular, he introduced me to the concept of burning out versus rusting out. In his opinion I am not in danger of the latter, but the former is definitely something I need … Continue reading Rusting out versus burning out…

A restful July 1…

Photo by Social Soup Social Media on Pexels.com Things have been quiet today. I spent some more time prepping myself for the market tomorrow, and spent some more time unwinding playing Spiderman on the Playstation 4. I think I've nearly completed the game, but it's definitely been a fun one to play. The developers, Insomniac … Continue reading A restful July 1…

Trying to give my brain a break…

Today has found me a bit better than yesterday, though I am still feeling fatigued, stressed, and generally emotional. It's been a quiet day today. I made pancakes for lunch for Lynn and I, and then played an hour of Spider Man on the Playstation 4, before settling in to the office to do a … Continue reading Trying to give my brain a break…

Waking up functional…

Today wasn't as productive as I would have liked, but it was still productive none-the-less. I started the morning doing some telephone interviews for a story I'm working on, then it was off to the store for the day. The store was quiet, but I did manage to get some creative writing done. I attempted … Continue reading Waking up functional…

Positive indicators

Today has been a day. I slept in a bit, before getting up and heading into the office. I did a Facebook live announcing the winner of a draw that I was running on my photography business's Facebook page. The winner ended up being a lady from Edmonton that Lynn knows. I ended up coordinating … Continue reading Positive indicators

Struggling with fatigue…

Today didn't go quite as planned. I ended up not sleeping that well last night. I don't know why, but over the last couple of weeks I have been having a harder time falling asleep than usual. I just haven't been feeling tired, despite the meds. Unfortunately that usually turns into me over sleeping in … Continue reading Struggling with fatigue…

Working on “downtime.”

It's been a few days since I've written. Things have been busy. Between work picking up, school, and my photography, I have not had much in the way of downtime, but I'm not complaining. With the weather getting nicer, I've been getting out to shoot more, and have been really happy with some of the … Continue reading Working on “downtime.”

Swimming along the wall…

Sometimes doing nothing is doing something. This weekend has been pretty lazy, but I'm not complaining. I've been feeling pretty drained over the last few days, and I'm not 100 per cent sure why. I know that between my writing, looking after the house, school, my photography, and everything else I've had going on, I've … Continue reading Swimming along the wall…

Maintaining…

This morning Lynn and I were up and out a bit earlier than normal, to pick up a new A-frame that we are going to repurpose for the store, because the one down there is too small and light for the task. After we got back from that, I logged into my free webinar I … Continue reading Maintaining…

Tired but accomplished…

Today was another office day, cleaning up more work from my interviews and photos I took yesterday. I managed to get four stories done and submitted which has me pretty close to being caught up for the time being. I have one more story that I can start work on, however until I get some … Continue reading Tired but accomplished…

Feeling Stable

I am getting tired of sleeping through my alarm clock... I had my alarm set for 7:30 because I had a nine a.m. meeting. I figured it gives me an hour to get up, have coffee, and make myself human. Nope. Woke up at 8:30, and barely made it out the door in time. On … Continue reading Feeling Stable

Why I’m not panicking, yet…

One thing that is really surprising about all the events going on in the world is that my anxiety is not climbing. There could be a few reasons why this situation isn't affecting me more: I already live with a heightened state of awareness due to my anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and this … Continue reading Why I’m not panicking, yet…

Not 100 per cent.. :(

My weekend has ended up differently than I was anticipating. I had a couple events to cover yesterday and was planning on going to church today, however those didn't happen. I ended up waking up with a headache yesterday morning, which progressed to a fever and chills as the day went on. I did escape … Continue reading Not 100 per cent.. 😦

Good and bad…

The ride-along I was supposed to be doing with our local ambulance crew didn't end up happening. Because of the COVID-19 cases in the province our provincial health authority ended up suspending the entire ride-along program. I'm taking it as both a good and bad thing. It's good because I was worrying about how I … Continue reading Good and bad…

Refocus

Despite the best of intentions, everyone can lose sight of their goals sometimes. Throw in mental health struggles, and the very effort of survival can throw goals a little off course, or right out of sight. Thinking about the last few weeks, I can see that despite the forward progress I've continued to make, that … Continue reading Refocus

Busy with goals…

Our theatre performance has finished for another year. With my involvement in practises running since January and the eight recent performances, it's been a buys few weeks. It's been a nice diversion, but truth be told, I'm kind of glad that it's wrapped. It has been a big commitment of time and energy, and now … Continue reading Busy with goals…

Looking forward to routine…

I've been busy over the past week, and I'm feeling it. My energy has still been such that I am managing to make it through the day and get done what I need to, but I haven't had much energy for anything else. That's been the frustrating part. I continue to lose the war with … Continue reading Looking forward to routine…

Letting go…

I'm feeling stressed out due to events totally beyond my control. Our elected provincial government is working on balancing the books and saving money, which I agree with, however the way they are going about it scares the hell out of me, particularly the changes they are making to health care. They have delisted procedures, … Continue reading Letting go…

Pushing through the fatigue and keeping busy…

Today has been interesting. I started this morning off conducting an interview with my town's two doctors, then headed down to the store and had lunch with Lynn. When I got home, I had a chat with my editor in regard to the interview this morning then headed onto the treadmill for a workout. The … Continue reading Pushing through the fatigue and keeping busy…

Working on time management…

With five shows down, we have passed the half way point of this year's theatre run. The show has been going good and I have been enjoying my role doing the AV for the production, but I think I'm looking forward to the show wrapping too. Things are getting busier, and it's just one more … Continue reading Working on time management…

Work and self-care…

Today is definitely off to a rough start. I do not feel like I slept at all well last night, and this morning I am dragging ass. Despite that though, I have already managed to get some work done, and set up a meeting for later on this morning. My goals for today are to … Continue reading Work and self-care…

The breaking storm…

I think that slowly but surely, like the weather is warming and the days are getting longer, the storm in my mind is breaking. This morning I woke up feeling like I have more energy, and it was not quite the battle to get out of bed that it has been. Even doing some work … Continue reading The breaking storm…

Emptiness despite success…

Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com I'm happy with how the first of eight showings of the Castor Little Theatre production of "Dry Streak" happened yesterday. Despite the simplicity of the play, the show is keeping my busy, and challenged in the AV booth, which is not a bad thing. I'm equally grateful that today … Continue reading Emptiness despite success…