A reminder that you aren’t alone…

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com When I can't find something, my brain freaks out. I search all over for the misplaced item. My focus goes out the window, and I struggle. I had just such an occurrence happen yesterday. I couldn't find the clip-on sunglasses for my glasses. I searched my work bag. I … Continue reading A reminder that you aren’t alone…

Crosses…

I live in a rural community. To facilitate travel, the area I live in is criss-crossed with highways. They are just like highways you will find anywhere in the prairies. Long. Straight. Dotted with crosses on the side of the highway, signifying where someone somebody loved came to a tragic ending. This cross is all … Continue reading Crosses…

Trauma…

Trauma affects everyone differently. Some people are able to push through the trauma, leaving them relatively unscathed. Some may crawl into the bottle while others may turn to self-harm. Generally speaking, people affected by trauma can have problems with their self-esteem and their self-identity. They can lose track of who they are. While my mental … Continue reading Trauma…

Where I’m supposed to be…

When I was a child, I wanted to be a marine biologist. As I got into high school my aspirations shifted, moving towards the Coast Guard or ambulance, of which I was fortunate to be able to get to work on the the latter. During my young adult years, I was all about working as … Continue reading Where I’m supposed to be…

Perspective change…

No blog post yesterday as the day got away from me. Yesterday was definitely busier than other recent days. I had a council meeting to cover for the paper first thing yesterday morning. When that concluded I spent some time working on my meeting notes before breaking for lunch. After lunch, it was back to … Continue reading Perspective change…

Just beginning…

So, my plans to switch over to a communications degree have hit a bit of a snag. The program on offer is a Bachelor of Professional Arts in communication, however I don't meet the minimum requirements to enter the program. I need to be at minimum finished second-year of university before I can even apply. … Continue reading Just beginning…

The river of time…

The river of time is not something anyone can slow. I had that driven home this morning after my optometrist appointment. After twenty years of not needing glasses, the doctor is strongly recommending them for distance. While the prescription is low enough that I don't need them for driving, again, she is strongly encouraging them. … Continue reading The river of time…

Celebrating slow growth…

The new year has been off to an okay start. I took a couple days off of studying on New Years Eve and on New Years Day, which was a much needed break. I did manage to convince Lynn to give me a hand for a couple hours cleaning up the office downstairs yesterday. Considering … Continue reading Celebrating slow growth…

Challenges and progress…

Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com The last few days have been a challenge. I've been balancing my work and school commitments okay, but my energy level has taken a dive off a cliff. My get up and go has gotten up and left me in the dust. On the bright side, the fatigue I'm … Continue reading Challenges and progress…

Paths Forward…

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Another quiet Sunday in the books. I ended up taking an additional rest day from my working out, and spent a good chunk of the day watching television with Lynn. We finished off the seventh season of "Castle" and started watching the first season of "Third Watch," a series that … Continue reading Paths Forward…

Mental Health Monday: Routine and anchor points

Photo by Juhasz Imre on Pexels.com It doesn't matter whether you talk about Youtube, blogging, or any other creative type job, creating regular content that is engaging and thought provoking without becoming repetitive is a challenge. I know that blogging my everyday does give me things to write about, but in all honesty, even that … Continue reading Mental Health Monday: Routine and anchor points

Waking up functional…

Today wasn't as productive as I would have liked, but it was still productive none-the-less. I started the morning doing some telephone interviews for a story I'm working on, then it was off to the store for the day. The store was quiet, but I did manage to get some creative writing done. I attempted … Continue reading Waking up functional…

Getting through this pandemic…

Despite my anxiety being peaked with everything going on in the world, I think I'm doing okay. I've managed to get myself back into a regular workout routine, even re-introducing the weight component with yesterday's workout. So far, I've been on the treadmill everyday this week for 30 to 40 minutes, and I'm already noticing … Continue reading Getting through this pandemic…

Heroes

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.comSome heroes wear capes. Others wear bunker gear and uniforms. I'm feeling the love today. My Facebook page has blown up with birthday well-wishes, and I am grateful. I know I haven't been in a great headspace lately. I know I've been struggling and feeling overwhelmed. The support means the world … Continue reading Heroes

Complacency and finding my ‘why.’

I know I need to make a change. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I need to make time to look after myself mentally and physically. It's not that I'm in a bad place right now, it's just I need to find the motivation to make a lasting change. If I can get myself back into … Continue reading Complacency and finding my ‘why.’

Sparks

Photo by Malte Lu on Pexels.com The last few years have been rough. There is no getting around that. I still miss my past life as an EMT. I had a love and passion for that job that I can't explain. I loved the adrenaline rush when the tones would drop. I loved that I … Continue reading Sparks

Over thinking

Over thinking always gets me into trouble. The latest example of this is in my English course. I'm currently in the process of writing my third assignment, and I was having an issue figuring out one of the concepts of this unit. After a discussion with my course tutor I realized that I was over … Continue reading Over thinking

Moving Forward

Today was a quiet one. I took the doctors orders to heart and gave myself another day to just let my body rest. It's not like I did nothing though. I finished a book, slept, and played some Red Dead 2. As far as actual productivity I got some files cleaned up on my external … Continue reading Moving Forward

I remember 9/11

It's been eighteen years since the world was changed on that fateful September day. I remember, like a lot of people, exactly where I was when I heard the news that international terrorism had hit the shores of NorthAmerica. I remember turning on the television minutes before the news showed the second plane hitting the … Continue reading I remember 9/11

Faking self-confidence?

I've been feeling good, albeit tired, lately. I have truly been blessed and am grateful for the good I have in my life. My mental-health treatment goes well. I have a fantastic team up between M and H and my family doc. I still don't have a new psychiatrist yet, but with where I am … Continue reading Faking self-confidence?

I would rather try and fail…

Part of me is wondering what the hell I signed up for, another is ready to take on the challenge. I spent some time in my text book today, and even got an early start on the first lesson, which which is mainly a punctuation refresher. Looking through some of the other chapters, I can … Continue reading I would rather try and fail…

PTSD in First Responders

Trauma is a part of life. It happens everyday to people across the world. Here's the thing with trauma. The brain is not equipped to handle it. Working on Ambulance I came upon more than enough trauma, and it left it's mark on me. The fatalities are bad memories, but the ones with with severe … Continue reading PTSD in First Responders

We are the sum of our parts.

I can be very all or nothing. I've been that way with many things in my life. Work. Relationships. Fitness. The biggest problem I had would be having the motivation for any of the above fall away after a short time. For instance, with the fitness, I would set lofty and in hindsight often unobtainable … Continue reading We are the sum of our parts.

Content Warning; My story next steps and suicide attempt

After I left the ambulance in the fall of 2013, I was in a tailspin. I ended up in hospital for two separate admissions approaching six weeks in length, under the same doctor, who was also my treating doctor in the community. Through this point he still refused to give me a diagnosis of Post … Continue reading Content Warning; My story next steps and suicide attempt

Content Warning: Hitting bottom…

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com The late-night calls were starting to get to me.  We were toned out for a call in the early hours of the morning for an unconscious unresponsive male. We dressed quickly and headed to the ambulance, and we responded with lights and siren.  We followed the directions into the rural … Continue reading Content Warning: Hitting bottom…