Catching up…

I can't believe it's been a week since I last updated my blog. It's been a busy week. I ended up covering the bookstore for three days last week, one of which was planned, and then on Friday took off for a guys weekend with my friend C. I'm definitely feeling relaxed after my time … Continue reading Catching up…

Where have three years gone? 650 posts…

Photo by Jessica Lewis on Pexels.com I've fallen of writing as frequently as I was. Between work and school I've been busy. I've actually been maintaining a level of activity that that I didn't think would be possible again. I haven't been as busy as I am now since I quit working full-time on the … Continue reading Where have three years gone? 650 posts…

Adding up…

Photo by George Becker on Pexels.com The fatigue is back, and it feels like it's brought reinforcements. I've been tired over the past few days, and it doesn't seem to matter how much I sleep. I ended up taking last weekend off from my workout routine, and I have yet to get back into it. … Continue reading Adding up…

Pushing through the discomfort to find growth

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com The last few days have been pretty busy. I've been sustaining my workout regime, as well as digging back into my textbooks to prepare for the final exam I have coming up in a week and a half. My workouts over the last few days have been challenging. I pushed … Continue reading Pushing through the discomfort to find growth

Paths Forward…

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Another quiet Sunday in the books. I ended up taking an additional rest day from my working out, and spent a good chunk of the day watching television with Lynn. We finished off the seventh season of "Castle" and started watching the first season of "Third Watch," a series that … Continue reading Paths Forward…

My own worst enemy…

Photo by William Choquette on Pexels.com I'm stressing myself out, and I know it. I've been working on my last assignment for the English course I am taking, and despite knowing what I want to say, I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts down. I've probably started the damn document ten times in the … Continue reading My own worst enemy…

Pushing through the discomfort…

Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com "Don't quit when you're tired, quit when you're done," is a quote by former Navy SEAL turned motivational speaker, David Goggins. At a quick blush, it seems like sound, and easy, advice to follow. Peeling back the layers of this quote unlock something else though. With the fatigue I've … Continue reading Pushing through the discomfort…

A day of (sort of) rest…

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I took a day away from my studies today. That said, it wasn't that I did nothing today. We had church this morning, then went for lunch, just Lynn and I. After lunch, we headed home, and I cut the lawn. More specifically, I cut the back yard....the front lawn … Continue reading A day of (sort of) rest…

Seeing in grey…

Recovery in mental illness is hard. It's not like a physical injury that can be seen. There is no casino splints, nothing visual that clues people in that something is wrong. Mental illness is all internal. Mental illness is painful. It affects relationships. It makes you question your own abilities and confidence. For significant mental … Continue reading Seeing in grey…

Sometimes doing nothing is doing something…

Today hasn't been a great mental health day. My moods and energy level have definitely been low, and I have been having a hell of a time managing to get anything done. My ambition has just ben gone. I have a couple stories for work that I need to write and I just haven't been … Continue reading Sometimes doing nothing is doing something…

Struggling with fatigue…

Today didn't go quite as planned. I ended up not sleeping that well last night. I don't know why, but over the last couple of weeks I have been having a harder time falling asleep than usual. I just haven't been feeling tired, despite the meds. Unfortunately that usually turns into me over sleeping in … Continue reading Struggling with fatigue…

Progress with reasonable goals…

Today has been fairly quiet on the home front. I finished up an article for my editor that I started last night, and submitted it, then started on the reading for my next unit in my university course that I am currently taking for my writing. I covered a lot today, though it was mainly … Continue reading Progress with reasonable goals…

Weathering the storm…

Tonight, I find myself in a contemplative mood. I found out today that the paper is struggling today, due to ad revenue fleeing because of the pandemic. According to the letter from the publisher, if things don't change, the paper may not survive through to the other side of this. It has me considering my … Continue reading Weathering the storm…

Good and bad…

The ride-along I was supposed to be doing with our local ambulance crew didn't end up happening. Because of the COVID-19 cases in the province our provincial health authority ended up suspending the entire ride-along program. I'm taking it as both a good and bad thing. It's good because I was worrying about how I … Continue reading Good and bad…

Refocus

Despite the best of intentions, everyone can lose sight of their goals sometimes. Throw in mental health struggles, and the very effort of survival can throw goals a little off course, or right out of sight. Thinking about the last few weeks, I can see that despite the forward progress I've continued to make, that … Continue reading Refocus

Busy with goals…

Our theatre performance has finished for another year. With my involvement in practises running since January and the eight recent performances, it's been a buys few weeks. It's been a nice diversion, but truth be told, I'm kind of glad that it's wrapped. It has been a big commitment of time and energy, and now … Continue reading Busy with goals…

Looking forward to routine…

I've been busy over the past week, and I'm feeling it. My energy has still been such that I am managing to make it through the day and get done what I need to, but I haven't had much energy for anything else. That's been the frustrating part. I continue to lose the war with … Continue reading Looking forward to routine…

Emptiness despite success…

Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com I'm happy with how the first of eight showings of the Castor Little Theatre production of "Dry Streak" happened yesterday. Despite the simplicity of the play, the show is keeping my busy, and challenged in the AV booth, which is not a bad thing. I'm equally grateful that today … Continue reading Emptiness despite success…

The end of a decade…

Suffice it to say, I'm not the same person I was a year ago. With all the growth in the past year, how can I be? Then again, the growth has not been limited to the last year. I find it hard to believe that not only are we a matter hours away from a … Continue reading The end of a decade…

Looking back, looking forward…

Christmas is done for another year and I, for one, am glad. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the holidays. I also enjoy when they end. This year has been additionally hard, with it being the first Christmas since Brenda passed away. However, we have gotten through it at least somewhat unscathed. That's not to … Continue reading Looking back, looking forward…

Rest & Recovery

It seems that winter has descended on Castor. The wind started up on Friday while we were in Red Deer, and has not stopped, bringing with it snow which began last night. Today has been a good day to hibernate, and I need to take these days of rest when I get the opportunity. Today … Continue reading Rest & Recovery

Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

Well, after a week, I finally had the opportunity to see Dr. M again. He had been keeping tabs on me through staff, but hadn't seen the need to actually meet with me every day, which I suppose is a good thing. He confirmed this morning that my discharge is set for Friday. I'm not … Continue reading Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

Moving Forward

Today was a quiet one. I took the doctors orders to heart and gave myself another day to just let my body rest. It's not like I did nothing though. I finished a book, slept, and played some Red Dead 2. As far as actual productivity I got some files cleaned up on my external … Continue reading Moving Forward

“Don’t quit when you’re tired, quit when you’re done.”

Well, today ended up being an exhausting day. I did get a lot accomplished thought. First up, I had church this morning, followed by lunch with the usual crew. After I got home, I attempted to cut the lawn while it wasn't raining on us. I got a good chunk of it mowed before the … Continue reading “Don’t quit when you’re tired, quit when you’re done.”

Dissecting intrusive thoughts

Another busy day. The last few days have been hectic. They've been a good hectic, but hectic none the less. The type of hectic where if I don't pump the brakes I am going to be headed for a world of hurt. Pumping the brakes is exactly what I am going to do. This evening … Continue reading Dissecting intrusive thoughts