Finding my path…

Photo by James Wheeler on

I can’t believe that it has been nearly a month since I’ve written here last. I think I have finally found the path I am meant to be on.

Work has been keeping me busy. I’ve been making inroads into the community of Stettler, and people are starting to notice the changes in the paper. I’m grateful for the positive feedback I’ve been getting from the community, and I know that my publisher has been receiving positive feedback as well.

The last month has continued to be busy. Hockey season is winding down and there is no shortage of that to cover, in addition to the usual events such as my regular council meetings. I’ve really been making an effort to give the paper more of a presence in the community, but it has been coming at a price.

I’ve been working on average six days a week, which is a pace I know is unsustainable. My plan is to keep pushing it hard until Lynn and I go for our holiday to Comic Expo in Calgary in April, then when I come back hopefully ease back on the throttle a bit. I should have the pieces in place by that point where I can start farming out some assignments to others.

One other complication I have in my life right now is the final for my English course. I finished my last assignment, which I have yet to receive back, and I write my final exam for the course next Thursday at 1 p.m.

I know I never have a good feeling going into exams, but this one is particularly vexing. I’ve extended this course twice and I have found it to be a real challenge . I’ll be very happy when it’s done and over with, hopefully with three more credits in my abstract.

I still need to look at the course calendar and decide which course I am going to take on next, though I have a bit of time for that. Once this course is complete I am taking April off to focus on work and give myself a breather before I jump back into courses starting May 1. I haven’t had a break from schoolwork since I started my first course in 2019, and with starting a new full time job, the break just seemed prudent.

Speaking of prudence, I have been continuing my sessions with M, though we have been spacing them out more. We’re currently sitting at eight weeks between appointments, which is the longest I have gone between appointments in years.

It’s hard to believe that five or six years ago I was in such a bad headspace I was in every other week appointments with him and unable to work due to the Post Traumatic Stress. It’s wild to think about. He’s amazed at the progress, and to be truthful, now that I’ve had the opportunity to sit back and reflect on it, so am I.

Despite the fact that I still have my good days and my bad days, I no long feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m not waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under me. I have a confidence and fire inside that’s been missing since my ambulance days.

However, there is some subtle changes from back then. Despite the hours and how much I am pushing myself, I honestly feel like I am more balanced than I was back then. I’m making time to spend with Lynn. I’m grabbing the occasional walk for a leg stretch. I’m firing up the Playstation and letting my brain turn off for a bit.

These are all positive things. I wouldn’t be here without the support of Lynn, or M, or L, or a few others who have walked beside me on this path, so I want to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone.


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