Shining through…

Today was definitely productive.

It honestly wouldn’t have been anywhere near as productive if it hadn’t of been for Lynn. Fortunately she was able to get someone to cover the store today, so I could settle into the office and catch up on some work.

And catch up I did.

I still have a couple stories to finish off tomorrow, but I got four done today, as well as a whack of photos processed and submitted. I was also able to break away for a little while and pick up some books for the store for Lynn while she was working at the church.

After how busy this week has been, including today, I am tired. It’s been a hell of a week.

The tired I’m feeling is different though. It is different than the soul-sucking mental exhaustion I deal with when I am in a bad depressive episode. The fatigue I’m feeling now is the feeling of accomplishment. This type of fatigue is a type I need to hold on to, because it is the fatigue that is pushing me forward helping me grow.

I know I have spoken at length about the growth I have seen over the last while. I had that growth reinforced in me today, though.

I should preface this by saying, I have always been an empathic, sensitive person. It wouldn’t take much for someone to say or something that would have me spinning my wheels, wondering what I did wrong and how I offended them, whether that was what happened or not. In short, I spent a lot of time seeing the worst in myself because of how others treated me.

The problem with that, I have since learned, is that often times when people were treating me poorly, it had nothing to do with me. They might have been having a bad day, and they were snappy as a result, and I just happened to be the closest target.

I had something happen today, where someone I interviewed requested to review the a story I was working on before it got published. That is against both the policy of the newspaper I write for and against journalistic standards. The person got snappy, then totally quit responding to texts after I told them that I was forwarding their request to my editor.

In the past, I would have let that response know away and consume me, and it likely would have had an affect on the entire rest of my day. Instead, I called the editor, filled them in on what happened, sent them the story and the person’s contact info, and carried on my day, barely giving the entire interaction a second thought.

My editor dealt with the issue, the story was published, and I carried on working. As an aside, the person texted me back after they spoke with my editor, apologized to me for the entire situation, and thanked me for the treatment I gave them in the story.

There’s two things I’ve taken out of today’s situation. One, I stood my ground, and din’t feel bad for it. When it got to the point, I escalated the issue, and carried on my day. I didn’t get mad. I didn’t get upset. I didn’t freak out.

Two, I’m fortunate to have the team working with me that I do. I know every editor I work with has my back when it comes to me writing my stories.

The situation today worked out well, for which I am grateful, but in all honesty, if the situation were to repeat itself I don’t think I would change a thing. I have a confidence in myself now to be able to stand my ground, and not feel bad for it. I have the self-confidence in myself to not let people project their issues on to me.

The fact is, people have bad days. Period. End of story. I’ve spent way to much time letting people having bad days have an effect on me. I’m glad to see the self-confidence I’ve developed is shining through.


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