Tired, but not overwhelmed…

Despite this week being significantly quieter than last, I am feeling trashed.

I’ve had my workout regime derailed, due to bad cramps occurring in my right calf muscle, which is not helping things any. I had a soak last night, which helped, but as it sits right now, I am still feeling. I think if I try to do any major walking on it it will flare up again. So, I’m stretching it, and trying not to push it to hard, letting it recover to the point I can get back on the treadmill.

Work has been slower this weaker, just having a couple of meetings to cover and write up, which has given me opportunity to work on my history course and start working on my prose course, which starts officially on June 1.

The slower week has also given me the opportunity to get the information together for another project I am working on, which is due at the end of the month.

Despite the step back from the working out, and the slower work week, everything else I’ve had going on has still kept me busy. Yet, through it all, I have managed to keep myself fairly level. I spoke with Dr. M. at the centre yesterday, and he said that with everything I have going on, and the current state of the world right now, he’d be surprised if I wasn’t struggling at least a bit, though he did say that the fact that I hadn’t reached out before now is telling, and that tells him I am on the right track.

He wants me to follow up with him again sometime in August, when I usually struggle the most in the year. He supports my picking up more classes for school, as long as I pick them up in a phased approach, and don’t try to jump to full-time studies right off, as that, he figures, would doom me to failure. I definitely appreciate the support from him. It means a lot to me.

He figures that with all of the hard work I have done over the last few years that my borderline personality disorder symptoms are pretty negligible, and that even my post traumatic stress isn’t rearing its ugly head quite as often as it used to either. Both things for which I am grateful. Still, I need to make sure I don’t push myself too hard, as I know that it won’t take much to send me back down the slippery slope.

Despite the fatigue slipping in, trying to juggle everything I’ve got going on, I’m feeling okay. Not stellar, but not bad either. I’m tired, but not overwhelmed. For me, that is a huge accomplishment.


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