Breaking things down on a mixed emotion day…

Today has been pretty mixed.

I felt like crap first thing this morning, but picked up again after talking to M2. We had a good chat, though she did recommend that I reach out to Dr. M. I called him before lunch, but unfortunately have yet to hear back from him. I’m hoping tomorrow.

This afternoon a wave of darkness hit me again. Feeling completely drained has not been helping matters any. The fatigue adds an extra layer to already complicated issues.

Today wasn’t a complete loss though. I finished a vlog post for my Youtube channel, which can be found at I also got some reading done for my history course, finishing the one book I was reading, as well as starting on the reading for the next unit.

I’m currently reading about the Treaty of Versailles in 1919 and how in some ways it set the stage for World War II. It’s an interesting area of history, and I’m looking forward to diving deeper into the topic.

The book I finished reading was entitled “Generals Die in Bed,” a novel written by Canadian Charles Yale Harrison, and first published in 1930. The book is touted as an anti-war novella, and discusses the authors time in the trenches during the First World War. It is a short read, but very gripping, and I would heartily recommend reading it.

Now that I’ve read that book, I setting my sights to the next book we’re studying, a war classic. “All Quiet on the Western Front” is another World War I memoir, this time from a German perspective, written by Erich Maria Remarque, a veteran of the war. I’m looking forward to reading it and comparing both sides perspectives.

I was supposed to have a photo shoot with some friends tonight, however they were forced to postpone due to A running way late. We’ve rescheduled for Friday night, so I hope the weather holds.

Talking with M2 today, I did have a realization. I realized how easy it is to fall into the trap of getting down on myself when I just gloss over everything in my life. It’s when I actually dig in and digest my life in bite-sized chunks that I realize just how far I’ve come, even when I am feeling like crap.

I need to keep breaking things down and I need to keep moving forward because I really am doing better than I feel. I just wish I didn’t have to keep reminding myself of it. I’m getting frustrated again with my mental health, but that as well is nothing new either. I know I just need to get through these next few weeks and I’ll start picking up again. I just hope it’s before I slide too far.

Tomorrow is a store day. Lynn has an appointment in Coronation in the afternoon, so I told her I’d take the day to give her a day off. Then I have photos tomorrow night for Fire Week for the paper coming up in the beginning of October.


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