Driven…

As far as my schooling goes, one chapter is drawing to a close and another is beginning.

I got my marks for my final assignment, and despite the piece not being one of my strongest submissions, I still managed to keep my mark into the eighties, which is a relief. The instructor commented that I had a few “small” problems that I needed to work out, but, in her opinion, I am ready to tackle the final exam next week.

That has me feeling some sense of relief. I know I write well, I just need to keep my anxiety in check when I write the exam. I also need to remind myself that the main thing with the course is the three credits attached to it. The marks, while still important, are secondary.

Aside from the studying I’ve been doing for my English course, I’ve been spending time in my photography and Photoshop courses. I’m two weeks away from completing the photography course, and three from completing the Photoshop course, which will be nice. I’ve been learning how to do some really neat things in Photoshop, such as the colour desaturation and vignette addition, as seen in the before and after photos below.

In addition to the basic editing that I did in the previous example, I’ve also been learning some different, eye-catching, techniques, as shown below.

Suffice it to say, I am really enjoying both the photography and the creating with the images after the fact. Despite the fact that signing up for the courses was unintentional, I am definitely getting some good, useable, skills out of the courses.

Unfortunately, mainly due to the fatigue that has come crawling back, I have fallen off my workout regime, which I am less than happy about, but unfortunately there’s not much I can do. When I’ve got so much else going on and I’m still dragging my ass around, something had to give. I’m going to give myself some recovery time, then when I’m done the exam and starting to ease into my Twentieth Century History course, I’ll see about easing back into it. I think part of the issue is I pushed too hard, and just ran out of steam. Trying to find balance and fitting in everything I need to get done is exhausting.

Still, aside from the fatigue and worrying about Lynn I feel like I am in a good place. I’m getting the rest I need. My moods, while fluctuating a bit more than normal over the last couple days, are still better than they’ve been in I don’t know how long. I may feel like I’m pushing my limits at times, but in doing so I am succeeding in growing my limits. I’m learning to rest when I have to, to back off that little bit, instead of coming to a complete stop. In short, the therapy I’ve done and the mental health skills I’ve learned are paying off, for which I am grateful. Despite some challenges that I still face, I feel a lot more optimistic about life than I have in a long time.

I think part of what has helped me has been the goals I have set for myself. They’ve been realistic, and have helped give me a drive that I was missing; a drive that I’ve been missing since I left the ambulance in 2013.

Kevin

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