Today, I’m feeling optimistic.
I received my marks back for my latest essay, and while I did not do as well as I was wanting, I did do better than I was expecting, scoring above 80 per cent, which I am not going to complain about.
With this assignment done and back, I have just under 8 weeks to get my last two essays completed as well as write my final exam, so I am by no means in panic mode yet. My plan as of now is to have my next assignment completed and submitted by the week of the fourteenth, and then begin work on the final one.
My photography and photoshop courses continue to go well, and I am learning all sorts of additional tools to add to my tool box. For the photography course, the section I am most anticipating is the section on flash photography, which will have several lessons in the next module.
I was right with my anticipation that the summer would be slower than usual for work, however I do have a pair of stories I need to write for next week, so that will give me something. Unfortunately, due to how busy this week has been with my other projects and the slowdown, aside from a few photos that I shot of the Canada Day fireworks I won’t be contributing too much to next weeks paper.
Despite feeling more optimistic, I’m still feeling very fatigued. I have quite a lot on the go, and only so much energy to go around. I know I need to work on my time management so I can get done everything I need to, however, I also need to work on building in some recovery time so I don’t burn out.
Between the course work, actual work, and all the other side projects I have going on at the moment, I am more productive now than at any other point since before I left the ambulance. I’m happy about that, but I’m definitely feeling the pressure building. I’m feeling the strain, and I know where I am headed if I don’t make interventions. I need to take some downtime, and not feel guilty about it. I need to remain productive, but realize that sometimes downtime is productive. I need to realize that I can not keep this up long-term without facing consequences. I’m not supposed to be working full-time, and if you add up everything I’m doing I’m probably better than that.
That doesn’t mean I need to slam on the brakes and quit doing what I’m doing, but I do need to do it smarter. I need to take better advantage of the time I am spending on my various projects. Finally, even while I am feeling better mood-wise, I need to realize that I have limitations, and that I will be a hell of a lot more effect at anything I do, if I stay within them.
As bummed as I am about the slow down for work this summer, I am going to take advantage of it, and let myself rest and recover, and focus on the important things, such as spending time with Lynn and the dogs. I’m going to spend some more time exploring the province, and capturing it’s beauty in my photos. I’m going to continue the hard work I have put into my mental health recovery, and continue sharing my experiences, both good and bad.
I said in my last post that I would rather burn out than rust out, but truth be told, I would rather hold myself a bit, and not do either.