Snowballing…

I’m definitely grateful that I have an appointment with M coming up on Monday.

I was supposed to be talking to someone on a biweekly basis, split between M and a therapist through the semi-local mental health unit, with each offset by two weeks. That was going well, until my appointment at the local mental health unit was canceled due to my therapist being away, and they have yet to tell me what is going on there. As a result it’s been nearly a month since I’ve done therapy, and I’m definitely feeling it.

It seems like since I got back home from my sister’s place on Monday, my moods have been snowballing downhill. I’m frustrated with this up and down cycle that is my life, but it is what it is. Unfortunately though, because of my mood swings Lynn takes collateral damage. I snapped at her this morning over basically nothing, just because I was in a bad mood. It shouldn’t have happened, and I feel bad that it did. Lynn shouldn’t have to deal with my bad moods when I struggle, but here we are. I know she loves me. I know she knew about my issues when we got together, and that she got into this knowing full well what I can be like, but still it’s not fair to her.

I know I’ve been here before. I know I’ve gotten through these moods, through this depression I battle. The biggest thing I can do right now is be gentle with myself, and ride this out. I know talking to M on Monday is going to help. So will getting things figured out with the local mental health unit. I hope that problem resolves itself quickly. In the meantime, I’m going to check with M and see if I can set up biweekly appointments with him. It sucks that I have to pay out of pocket for the help, but it beats the alternative.

As far as my physical health goes, the shoulder is doing significantly better since the injection a couple weeks ago, though it is still not 100 per cent. I’m going to be going for another injection, into another part of my shoulder, to see if it helps clear up the last of the discomfort.

Tomorrow is going to be a light day with nothing really planned, except maybe some writing. I’m mainly caught up with my pieces for work for the time being, so tomorrow may be a good day to do some studying and some creative writing.

Kevin

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