I’m struggling today.
I miss Sirius. I miss his nudging your arm when he wanted attention. I miss the impish look on his face before he would do something cute. I miss him sprawling on his back so you could rub his tummy.
Sirius was nine-and-a-half years old when we suddenly lost him. Definitely older for a big dog, but I can’t help but think that he is gone too soon.
Unfortunately, there is not a damn thing I or anyone else can do about it. We did what we could for our boy, it just wasn’t enough.
I’m doing what I can to get back into a decent routine of some sort, working on my computer, working out, etc. I’m trying not to get bogged down in my emotions, because if I let myself go there, I know how slippery of a slope it can be.
I’m stressed by the loss of Sirius. Hell, I’m stressed by a lot of things at the moment. I think it’s a testament to how far I have come that I am not yet tumbling, and I intend to do whatever I can to keep that the tumble from happening.