I think that it goes without saying that 2020 has not been going as anticipated.
Between the pandemic dragging the world to a screeching halt, the frequent fluctuation with work, and Sirius’ diagnosis, 2020 has pretty much been a write-off so far.
My anxiety is high. I’m worried about my job, I’m worried about my community, and I’m worried about my dog.
The thing is, all of the things that have me stressed out right now are outside of my three foot world. I can’t control any of them. I can’t control work. I can’t control the pandemic, and I can’t control what happens with Sirius.
It would be easy to say that since they are out of my control I need to just let them go. Unfortunately things don’t work that way. I can’t just turn off the anxiety. I can’t just let these things not bug me.
So what can I do?
I can get my exercise, which helps me burn off the nervous energy. I can make use of my downtime to improve myself, so that when life does begin returning to normal, which it eventually will, I can emerge better than ever with skills that will carry me forward.
I can work on diversifying my income, so I’m not solely reliant on my freelance job. I can use the time to learn my craft with photography and writing. I’m still working on my second course, and have a lot to work on with it.
As far as my boy goes, well, I can spend time with him. I can take him for car rides, which he loves. I can take him with me when I go into the back country, and get shots of him running around, shots that I will be able to use to remember him when he is gone.
The year so far has been rough, and we’re not even at the half way mark. Unfortunately I see things getting worse before they start getting better, but that’s where we are.
All I can do is work on what I can control, and do what I can to not let the rest drag me down.