Tired…

Winter isn’t done with East-Central Alberta yet.

Environment Canada issued a snowfall warning for our region yesterday afternoon, and it’s been snowing since I got up. Oh well, it’s March in the prairies, what more can one expect?

Today has been pretty quiet. I’ve been working on some schoolwork, and I shovelled the driveway, and other than that I’ve been taking the day pretty low-key. I had a late night last night, as the theatre group did show seven of eight. The final show is tonight.

I’m grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to participate with the theatre group yet again. I’ve definitely enjoyed the experience, but I am equally glad to be seeing it conclude this evening. The production has taken a significant amount of time and energy to put on, and I’m ready for things to get back to normal.

I’m working on my next course for school, and so far the layout is a bit different than the way my first course was. I’ve continued to have a challenge absorbing the material from the e-textbook provided with the course, and I am hoping that the physical textbook I ordered will get here sooner rather than later, before the material moves on to become even more challenging.

Mood-wise, I’m struggling a bit today. I’m worried about Lynn. Our communication hasn’t been that great lately, and I’m worried that she is struggling too. I just have no idea what to do or say around her. It feels like whatever I do or say, it’s always the wrong thing, and it’s been causing me a considerable amount of stress. I stress with relationships enough with my own mental health issues. Factoring in some one else’s struggles with grief and other problems leaves me perplexed. I honestly don’t know how much of the issues lately have been Lynn struggling, or me transferring my own insecurities onto her, which is something that happens frequently in people with a bpd diagnosis. All I can do though is keep supporting her the best I can, and leave the rest to God. He knows me, and He knows Lynn, and I have to trust that He will help us through this.

Aside from the moods, I’m just plain tired. My internal gas tank feels like it’s running on fumes. I could sleep all day and I would still be tired. It’s not like I’m not sleeping though. I am sleeping, quite well. I just don’t feel like I’m getting rested at all.

All I know is that I can’t keep going on the road I’m on. Something has got to give. Hopefully things start evening out soon.

K

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