Today is D-Day.
I write my exam this afternoon at 1300hrs.
After doing some online quizzes yesterday afternoon, I am feeling better about the exam, though I will definitely be feeling like a load is taken off what’s I get it finished.
The medication adjustment my doctor made has been very much a double edged sword. I’m feeling like my mind has slowed down enough to function again; however, it’s been leaving me fatigued. I guess I have to take the good with the bad.
To force myself to not study last night and this morning, I did some work on my photography business, as well as started learning Lightroom Classic, a photo program that I have as part of my Adobe Photography suite.
All I can say about it is wow. I definitely prefer classic to the web-based version of Lightroom, and though I still have some things I need to figure out with it, I can see myself using it more so than Photoshop for day to day photo editing. One of the photographers I follow on Youtube, Peter Mckinnon, has a great video showing some Lightroom techniques on his channel. The video and be found at https://youtu.be/yQBGDRAYRJs.
Despite my change of focus onto my photography, the exam this afternoon still has me concerned, however I feel I am as ready as I can possibly be by this point.
Mentally, things have settled a bit, though I am still struggling with everything I have on my plate. I know I’ve been here before, and I know I will get through this down swing. Honestly, I just have a couple weeks I need to get through before things slow down and I can take some down time, and not long after that will be my planned hospital admission, which I am seeing as a good thing at this point.
As for the suicidal and self harm thoughts and feelings I’ve been having, they have decreased thanks to meds slowing down my mind. The slow down is definitely helping me function better, but it’s a pain in the ass as I can tell I’m not thinking as quickly as usual. I’m just hoping that it doesn’t screw me up too badly for my exam.
Regardless, by tonight the exam will be done, and I’ll be focusing on my next challenge hard, which is my introductory composition course starting Mar. 1.