I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me since I published my last post.
As you may have figured out, I’m struggling right now. My moods have been going so up and down over the last few days I’m beginning to get whiplash.
At the urging of Lynn, I did show my doctor my last post. She responded with kindness and compassion. We made a small adjustment to my medications, and I need to go back and see her in a couple weeks.
Depending on how the next few days go, I may give M a call and see if I can get an earlier appointment with him, since my next one isn’t scheduled until the beginning of March.
Depending on how things go I may reach out to Dr. M in the centre to get his thoughts as well, but to be honest, right now I just want to focus on getting past my exam tomorrow.
I do have feelings of suicide right, but they are nothing new. When I struggle, I spend a lot of time suicidal. At the moment, despite the feelings, I am not at risk. Just because I have the feeling that I want to complete suicide does not mean I have the intent to act on the feelings, and as I’ve said before, if that changes the doctor and I have a plan for that.
This blog is my outlet, and the more I get out of my head on here, the less the chances are that I will act on the thoughts or feelings swirling through my mind. I’m not going to censor myself, though I am remiss in the fact that I did not put a content warning in the header of the post, and for that I apologize.
Again, thanks everyone for the support.