Today’s been hard.
Between being very fatigued, feeling like a failure, and having my brain screaming at me to just end my life, it suffices to say that I’ve had better days.
When I struggle, I have a hard time focusing. I retreat within, hiding behind walls to protect me from the onslaught of my own mind.
I know my final is wearing heavily on me, as is my birthday tomorrow, and generally everything that I’ve got going on in my life at the moment. Not sleeping worth a damn last night is likely not helping matters any.
The thing is, as strong as these thoughts and urges are, they are just that. They’re uncomfortable, but I’m weathering this storm. I’m not giving in to the impulse.
I’ve been here before. I’ve fought through this, and worse, before. The fact that I’m able to write out my feelings instead of caving in to them tells me loads about where I am compared to where I’ve been.
My mind can be tiring, but it is what I have to work with, so tonight I’m going to try and catch up on some rest, and enjoy tomorrow the best that I can.