Lofty goals and stumbling

After a week away, I’m home and working on sliding back into routine, with some minor tweaks.

I’m setting some short and medium term goals for myself and for my health.

First and foremost, I’m setting my alarm earlier and forcing myself to get up so I can grab a workout and a shower first thing to start my day. My goal is to get into a workout routine where I am hitting the treadmill at least six days a week in addition to three days a week strength training.

Secondly, I’m going to start tracking my calories again, so I can get back in the habit of being aware of what I’m putting into my body. My Fitbit app has a tracker in it, I just need to remember to use the damn thing.

My goal is to be back under 250 lbs by March 1. I have less than 8 lbs to lose, so while challenging I don’t see it as being an impossibility.

I have some goals professionally as well. I am going to make time to practise the skills that I learned in my recent trip to Regina, of which some of the photos are up in the 2020 tab of Further to that, I’m planning to work on getting myself set up over the next month so I can start selling photos, and hopefully my photography services to the public, and I am to do so by starting to attend our local farmers markets which re-commence in March.

For the paper, I’m aiming to maintain the tempo that I have been at. It’s been busy, and at sometimes overwhelming, however it’s giving me a new focus that I thought was long lost. It’s been stressful, however it has definitely been a good stress.

Longer term, overall, my goal is to get my weight down to in between 230 and 240 lbs, which will hopefully allow me to cut back on some of the blood sugar and blood pressure meds, and mentally I want to work at keeping my admissions to hospital down. I don’t think that the preplanned admissions are bad a thing, I just really don’t want to be relying on them to keep me healthy.

I’m at a point in my life I never thought I would see. I’m establishing myself in a new career. Despite the ups and downs of my moods I am managing to succeed. I may not be working full time, but I am working none-the-less. It feels like my life has meaning, something I can’t say I’ve felt in nearly a decade. That’s why I’m setting the goals, ambitious as they may be.

The thing is, I know I won’t be able to succeed at them alone. It’s too easy too snooze that alarm. It’s easier to not do the work, that’s why I need people to give me a push at times, regardless of whether I’m wanting it or not.

I write before about finding my ‘why’. The future is my ‘why’. I’ve lost nearly two decades of my life to mental illness. I feared failure. I feared the unknown. I let may emotions control me. My goal overall is to put that fear to work.

Yes, none of this changes the diagnoses I have where my mental health is concerned. I know that I will stumble, but using this blueprint for my path forward, it doesn’t matter how many times I stumble, as long as I get up one time more.


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