Month: January 2020

Lofty goals and stumbling

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, Sports, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

After a week away, I'm home and working on sliding back into routine, with some minor tweaks. I'm setting some short and medium term goals for myself and for my health. First and foremost, I'm setting my alarm earlier and forcing myself to get up so I can grab a workout and a shower first … Continue reading Lofty goals and stumbling

Complacency and finding my ‘why.’

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Old habits die hard, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Sports, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I know I need to make a change. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I need to make time to look after myself mentally and physically. It's not that I'm in a bad place right now, it's just I need to find the motivation to make a lasting change. If I can get myself back into … Continue reading Complacency and finding my ‘why.’

Working my craft

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Canon T6i, 1/1600s,f5.6,ISO 200, Jan 26,2020 I can't believe it has been nearly a week since I have written last! Suffice it to say, things have been busy. I had various trainings or meetings every night last week, plus quite a few day-time things, including the opportunity to cover a criminal case as a reporter. … Continue reading Working my craft

Kicking ass in the short term

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Mentally, I'm struggling a bit. I'm not tumbling into a full-on depression, but I'm definitely feeling fatigued. My motivation has been next to non-existent, and I'm having a hard time engaging with activities, such as my fitness regime. That said, I've been steady with work, with some new opportunities on the horizon, and I've been … Continue reading Kicking ass in the short term

Being someone else’s survival guide

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Gaming, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, PS4, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Spiderman, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

As anticipated, today was fairly busy. It got even busier with having to do some photography work in my office, but it is what it is. I did manage to get a bit of downtime in, playing a half-hour of Spider Man on the Playstation and watching an episode of SWAT that had Lynn and … Continue reading Being someone else’s survival guide

Digging deep

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Can't Hurt Me, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today was the final real "down" day I'm going to have for at least a week. I slept in a bit, then went to work processing photos from yesterday's hockey, then I ran sound for this morning's church service. After church we did our usual lunch thing with church friends, then back home where I … Continue reading Digging deep

I find my lack of motivation disturbing….

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Habits, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Yesterday was a long, but good day. I worked the store for the morning, which was a chilly affair. The furnace in the space we rent is still not working properly, and with the -30 to -40 c weather we've been happening, the heat the furnace has been kicking out has not been enough. Thank … Continue reading I find my lack of motivation disturbing….

A little of this, a little of that…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Aside from going hypoglycaemic during a workout, today hasn't been a terrible day. I spent most of the day in the office split between studying and a session with M. I booked my final exam for the later part of February, so I am definitely getting into crunch time. I did get just over a … Continue reading A little of this, a little of that…

Tomorrow is a new day…lessons learned

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, journalism, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

This morning, I hit the ground running, and didn't stop. I was up and out early to cover today's county meeting, then home to get them wrote up. B picked me up after lunch, and took me into an appointment in Stettler for an eye appointment. The appointment went well, though the doctor does want … Continue reading Tomorrow is a new day…lessons learned

Getting productive…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, Learn from history!, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Sports, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today was a somewhat productive day. I opened the store for Lynn since she had an appointment with the vampires first thing this morning, and while I was at the store I managed to get an interview done. After I headed home, I grabbed a quick lunch, then attempted to get some work done; however, … Continue reading Getting productive…

The thrill of the hunt, and an update

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, PS4, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Christmas is out of the house for another year. After church and lunch today, Lynn and I hunkered down at home, and got our tree taken down, and everything back into storage. Today seemed as good a day as any considering the mercury was sitting at -35C once wind chill was factored in. I don't … Continue reading The thrill of the hunt, and an update

3 ft. World…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Military Motivation, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., NavySEALs, Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, SEALMotivation, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, TheOnlyEasyDayWasyesterday, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Inspiration can be found in any number of places. Today I was introduced to the concept of the 3 ft. world, courtesy of all places, the television show SEAL Team. Two of the team members were talking, and staying in your 3 ft. world was mentioned in passing, so I decided to do a deep … Continue reading 3 ft. World…

Getting more active and creating local content again…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Contentment, Creativity, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Yesterday and today have been somewhat more active than most as of late. I was out the door early yesterday morning for a meeting, then stopped off at the store to help Lynn pull down the last of Christmas -which we still need to do at home-. The afternoon was spent writing and editing photos, … Continue reading Getting more active and creating local content again…

Taking down time…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, PS4, ptsd, Pushing myself, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today was a low key day. So low key, in fact, that I unfortunately didn't get a workout in. I ended up doing some research for a project that led me rather deep down the rabbit hole, and I didn't realize the time. That said, despite being a low key kind of day, it was … Continue reading Taking down time…

Setting goals for 2020, not resolutions.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Getting back into a normal routine after the holidays has been challenging for me. With my 'regular' work functions on hiatus for another week and not much happening around town, it's still been pretty quiet. That said, the downtime has been a blessing as it's helped me get back into my weight routine and get … Continue reading Setting goals for 2020, not resolutions.

Photographic Diversions

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Growth, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Hope, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

One of my favourite hobbies is exploring the back country around where I live. The area around where I live is home to prairie plains, river valleys, and wind-swept badlands. All of these locales are with thirty minutes of my home. Probably my favourite place to explore is the ghost-town of Bulwark, located about twenty … Continue reading Photographic Diversions

Changes afoot

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, Creativity, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Highlight reel, Hope, journalism, just for fun, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sparks, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

After a very short period of deliberation, I have decided to change photography website providers. It turns out that with the Adobe Photography package I subscribe to includes free portfolio hosting, using their software. The only charge for the service is $12/year for the custom domain. That is opposed to the $13/month I've been paying … Continue reading Changes afoot

Changes and growth

by thrutheashesblog, posted in #Changes, #Growth, ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, loss, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Yesterday, I got the news I was expecting, but still don't like. H confirmed that yesterday was our last appointment "for now." He told me that the guy he was replacing is coming back later this month, although as far as he knows he is actively trying to get a position in Red Deer, and … Continue reading Changes and growth

Return to reality, and potential changes on the horizon…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Goal Setting, Goals, growth, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

The holiday season is behind us, and with that reality resumes. After a whirl-wind trip to Calgary where we spent New Year's Eve with friends, today is most definitely back to the grind. I'm glad I don't mind driving. First up, I have to recover the dogs from the kennel, where they had a min-vacation … Continue reading Return to reality, and potential changes on the horizon…