Getting closer to Christmas, I’m starting to struggle a bit.
The last few days have been tough. I’ve been sleeping, but I’m not feeling as rested as I should.
Part of it is the time of year. I’ve never been a Christmas person. I enjoy spending time with family and friends, but I don’t enjoy the over-commercialization of Christmas. People spending huge amounts of money to prove they love someone is idiotic, especially in this economic climate.
Despite my moods lagging a bit, there are some positives in my life. Lynn’s mom is here visiting for the holidays, which is also a treat. The paper has a lull which means I’ve actually been able to slow down a bit. Finally, I’ve managed to stay fairly consistent with my workout schedule.
I’m enjoying the fitness again, but it’s been frustrating. My weight trended up over the last few months, and now that I’m working out again, it just feels like I’m re-inventing the wheel. I’ve already covered this ground, but with falling off my workouts during the summer, I’m having to cover it again. I’m not going to lie, that is demoralizing.
Again, however, there is a bright side. Because I haven’t been away from the workout routine for that long, it’s coming back fast. I’ve been back at the routine for less than three weeks, and my pace is already just about back to where it was, as is endurance. These are both good things.
I am going to need to make a change with my diet though if I want to get serious with my weight loss again. However, it would be foolish making that change during the holidays. Beginning in January though, that’s when a change is going to have to be made, once things get back to relative normalcy.
In the meantime, I’m working at being on the treadmill six days a week, with weights every other day.
Physically, I’m tired but feeling good. I just wish I could get my mind and body onto the same page. I know part of the reason for my struggling moods can be chalked up to having trouble sleeping. The last few nights my sleep has not been as restful as it could, especially with the amber alert in the middle of the night. It just highlights how sensitive I am to sleep.
Overall, I feel like I’m doing okay. Not great, not bad, but okay. I’m maintaining despite the fatigue. I haven’t been having much in the way of self-injury or suicidal urges. I’ve been keeping my mind busy, learning a lot with both my writing and my photography.
All I can do is keep it going, one day at a time.