Today was definitely harder than yesterday.
The material covered during day two of the ASIST course built on the material we covered yesterday, and then gave us plenty of opportunity to practise it. Unfortunately, when it was my turn to put the skills to use, my partner stymied me at every opportunity, resulting in me getting frustrated, and well, I don’t have much of a poker face.
That being said, I think the entire course was a valuable use of time and energy. I definitely got some more mental health understanding out of it, as well as a good dose of what others must feel when I am low, and actually suicidal. It’s not a pleasant feeling.
I’m hoping that I can tap into that feeling when I am low, and that it helps me keep from spinning totally out of control in the future. I don’t know that it will, but the extra tools at my disposal are not a bad thing.
I think tonight is going to be a fairly laid back night. After the last two days discussing this heavy topic, I am feeling pretty much drained, so tonight is going to be doing self-care and recharging for the week ahead.
Despite the fatigue of the weekend, I continue to feel optimistic about my path though. I know I have made considerable forward progress over the last few months. I’m stronger, and able to better handle stresses that get thrown at me.
I’m blessed to be able to share my story through my blog and giving presentations. I’m blessed that people value my opinion on things related to mental health, and that my story helps people. All of that combined does much to offset the fatigue I’m feeling, especially after such a draining weekend.
Tonight I recharge, tomorrow I’m back at it.