Gratitude, growth, and future plans

I’m home after nearly two weeks in hospital.

My moods are definitely mixed with this admission. I feel like I walked out of the hospital stronger than I ever have in the past. I definitely got more out of this admission than some previous ones, and I feel like there is a plan firmly in place with Dr. M being back at the centre full time.

I can easily attribute the success of the admission in several places.

First and foremost, having Dr. M back at the centre definitely helps. We have an understanding that is helping me succeed.

Second, I sought intervention early, before things became too far out of hand. The earlier intervention allowed me to not slide into the depressive symptoms quite as far, allowing me to bounce back faster. With not sliding so far and bouncing back faster I was able to attend the groups and get more out of them.

Third, I know I am blessed having the support of my family, friends, and community. If that support weren’t there, I shudder to think where I would be.

So, with this crisis neutralized and me being home I can start doing some planning. The next month or so is going to be busy, with being on the road for a few days, as well as regular work and school commitments.

Longer-term, Dr. M and I discussed the plan at my discharge meeting. He made me just about speechless when he offered to take me on his caseload through Telehealth, a service provided by our provincial health authority. He’s offered to see me every three months via teleconference, and he confirmed his intention of bringing me in for planned admissions every six months, pending bed availability at the centre. And finally, he told me that if I have trouble coping, I can reach out to him at the centre between appointments, and he’ll either help me come up with a plan to stay safe, or work on getting me in early. Again, I was floored.

I am grateful for this doctor who has helped me as much as he has in the several years I’ve known him. Instead of looking at me as a problem patient, he was patient and worked with me, giving me a hand-up when needed, or alternately, a boot in the ass when needed.

I told him today that I don’t feel like the same person I was when we first crossed paths. He agreed. He even went so far as to describe me as chaotic to work with. However, I’ve kept my head down, done the work and grown for it. Having a comprehensive plan for the future helps put my mind at ease, allowing me to focus on the important things, like Lynn, school, and work.

I know my next few weeks are going to be busy, but I feel better equipped and more at ease with what is to come than ever before. It’s reassuring to know that I’m not being left to flounder on my own, only being taken seriously when I fall too far.

I wish more doctors had the compassion and patience of Dr. M.

Thanks everyone for the support, it’s great being home.

Kevin

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