Month: October 2019

Macro vs Micro

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, sheep dogs, small victories, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today wasn't overly busy, but I was out of the house pretty much all day. I was up and out the door by 9:45 because I had an 11 a.m. appointment with H, and had a stop to make prior. My appointment with H was good. He challenged my thinking on some things, such as … Continue reading Macro vs Micro

Over thinking

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, History, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Over thinking always gets me into trouble. The latest example of this is in my English course. I'm currently in the process of writing my third assignment, and I was having an issue figuring out one of the concepts of this unit. After a discussion with my course tutor I realized that I was over … Continue reading Over thinking

Rest & Recovery

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Habits, Hope, Injured List, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Old habits die hard, Perspective, Physical injury, PS4, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

It seems that winter has descended on Castor. The wind started up on Friday while we were in Red Deer, and has not stopped, bringing with it snow which began last night. Today has been a good day to hibernate, and I need to take these days of rest when I get the opportunity. Today … Continue reading Rest & Recovery

Road Trip

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, adaptability, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, coffee...., Depression, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, PS4, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Road Trip!, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I don't mind mornings, I just wish they would happen later in the day... This morning was an early one. Lynn, her mom, and I were up and out the door early so we could get Lynn to her appointment in Red Deer for 7:45 a.m. In order for us to be there at that … Continue reading Road Trip

Keeping busy

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been a busy one. I was up and out the door early as I was speaking at a Headstrong Mental Health Summit in Stettler. It was my first time ever speaking about my mental health in this kind of public forum. It was nerve wracking, but I made it through, and the organizers … Continue reading Keeping busy

Growth and balance

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, learning new skills, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

It's been a busy couple of days. Yesterday, I ended up covering the store for Lynn as well as covering the election and participating in writing group. Today, I was up and out the door early, covering the county council meeting, then meeting a friend for lunch. After lunch Lynn's mom and I drove up … Continue reading Growth and balance

downtime and gratitude

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fallout 4, Fallout4, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, Hospital Admission, journalism, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

My first full day home was productive, if not overly busy. I ended up spending a couple hours on my studies, completing and submitting my second assignment for school as well as starting on the next unit. I also got some laundry done and changed the bedding in our room. Yesterday wasn't all work and … Continue reading downtime and gratitude

Gratitude, growth, and future plans

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, Contentment, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, Hospital Admission, Impulse control, journalism, just for fun, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I'm home after nearly two weeks in hospital. My moods are definitely mixed with this admission. I feel like I walked out of the hospital stronger than I ever have in the past. I definitely got more out of this admission than some previous ones, and I feel like there is a plan firmly in … Continue reading Gratitude, growth, and future plans

Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Abandonment, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, grief, Habits, History, Hope, Hospital Admission, keystone habits, Making time for what's important, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, ptsd, Relapse, Self-care, Self-confidence, sheep dogs, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Well, after a week, I finally had the opportunity to see Dr. M again. He had been keeping tabs on me through staff, but hadn't seen the need to actually meet with me every day, which I suppose is a good thing. He confirmed this morning that my discharge is set for Friday. I'm not … Continue reading Admission update: Figuring out how to feel.

CW: Rollercoaster…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, Dogs, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Furry Family, Habits, Hope, Impulse control, journalism, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Physical injury, ptsd, Pushing myself, reporter, Self-care, Self-harm, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Edit: today continued to decline and the suicidal thoughts hit me in a wave so hard I had to stop driving as I broke down completely. Definitely not a good day, but my doctor is fitting me in today. I have way too much going on to be this damn tired. While yesterday was an … Continue reading CW: Rollercoaster…

Uptick

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Acceptance, Accountability, adaptability, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Habits, Hope, journalism, keystone habits, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Health Tools, Mental Illness Awareness, Motivation, my story isn't over yet., Perspective, Photography, ptsd, Pushing myself, Relapse, reporter, Self-care, Self-harm, sheep dogs, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Despite not sleeping very well last night, this morning I have woken up feeling more of a spark than I've had in the last few days. I've been able to get up and get motivated, already finishing up some work, and being able to sketch out some semblance of a plan for the day. The … Continue reading Uptick