Discomfort

The last couple of days have been busy.

Between school, house-chores and writing for the paper I haven’t had a bunch of downtime.

I don’t know why, but I found yesterday particularly hard. I had anxiety move into my chest yesterday morning, and it didn’t budge all day. It led me to feel tired and grumpy.

I tried distracting to shake the feeling loose. I worked on a graphic design project for a local group, I played some Red Dead Redemption 2, and I did some fitness. The day wasn’t a complete loss, as I got just over an hour of studying in as well.

It’s still frustrating though. I can use the tools. I can do everything right. Setbacks are still going to happen.

Today, my anxiety is significantly better, but the feelings of tightness and hypervigilence have not completely dissipated. On the plus side, by using my skills I have been able to ride the wave of discomfort, and take of what needs to get taken care of. I’ve been able to do it without rescue meds thus far, as well.

That doesn’t mean it’s a comfortable feeling. That doesn’t mean I’m liking the feeling. It just means I’m tolerating the discomfort. The fact is, having anxiety sucks. The fact that I’m having the anxiety I am but still been able to push through definitely tells me where I am in m y recovery. I’ve come a hell of a long way.

Kevin