Ticking clock

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Today was a relatively low key day.

Lynn was sick this morning, so she didn’t end up coming to church. I had to go because I got roped in to running the sound board as the scheduled op was away. I’m glad I went though.

Today’s sermon was great. Our pastor had a week off, and one of our church members who speaks once a year or so spoke today, and it definitely provided some food for though about faith.

He spoke about his days in the rodeo circuit, and how he went to a rodeo in the states with no money on him, and how he gave himself to God, and God provided for him. He also spoke about how he performed in the rodeo for years, but it wasn’t until after he found God that he started winning. His story of faith was inspiring.

After church, I joined a group of church members for our usual after church fellowship at one of the local restaurants, then came home, moved some things around in the garage and generally started working on getting it cleaned up.

I got on the treadmill for an hour this afternoon as well, and got some laundry done too, so all in all it was a pretty productive day. I even managed a few hours of TV with Lynn before withdrawing into my office for the evening.

Tomorrow I have nothing on the agenda. Well, nothing except catching up on some work from last week and getting some paperwork together for WCB.

As for my workouts, I still haven’t been able to get myself back up to the three miles I was doing, but every day things are loosening up and feel a bit better.

As for my fiction writing, I have temporarily paused the piece I was working on, and have started working on something a little more tame, but with fewer moving parts. I just feel that I’ve painted myself into a corner with how the work was progressing, and I’m going to pause it while I contemplate the problem issues with it.

Overall, I’m feeling good. I’m feeling more at ease than I have in a while. I’m happy that the crazy-ness of the last week is behind me, but I’m equally glad that I have been able to push through it and come out none-the-worse for wear. It’s definitely a testament to how far I have come.

Speaking of how far I have come, I am officially a week away from taking the next step in my writing career. I start the long road of my Bachelor’s degree on Sept 1. I am equal parts nervous and excited. It’s been a long time since I was in a long term educational situation. Hell, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the head-space to commit to a long term project like this. Time will tell whether it’s a wise move or not…

I do know that not making a decision on going down this road is a decision in itself, and if I thought about it and thought about it, I’d still be thinking about. The fact of the matter is that as much as I feel like I have a new lease on life, the clock is working against me. I know at 40 I still have lot’s of life to live, but if I don’t get a handle on things doors will start closing. I know I can’t focus on that though, I also know that I’m not the first person to rediscover myself midway or later through life.

Harland Sanders, the founder of KFC was in his mid-sixties when he found his restaurant brand. Actor Samuel Jackson was in his mid-forties before he starred in Pulp Fiction with John Travolta, catapulting him to stardom. Even Charles Darwin was into his fifties before he published On the origin of Species, the work where his now famous theory was first put to paper.

I have life in front of me, I know that. I know I have the talent and skill to still contribute and do something meaningful with my life, but it hasn’t always been that way. A few short years ago I was in such a deep pit of despair that I never thought I would crawl out of it.

The point is, I did. I did, and I’m seeing things with a new clarity. I know life isn’t easy. I’m not cured, and my emotions still get the better of me. I’m better equipped to handle them though, and I can honestly say that I am ready for what the world has in store for me.

K

5 thoughts on “Ticking clock

  1. It sounds like you’ve had a good week, especially at church with a fresh perspective on faith. Writing gets tricky. I’m working on a fiction piece too so I know how you feel 😅 I have faith you’ll find your groove again. All the best with your degree! Thanks for sharing

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  2. Kevin, this was the most uplifting and amazing thing I’ve read all day! I’m so excited for you and this new journey. There will still be ups and downs as you go, but I firmly believe you can handle it. Just one day at a time, my friend. You got this. Keep me updated and share your success stories with me.

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