Tonight, I feel mentally and physically spent. It’s definitely a far cry from how I was feel 24 hours ago.
It’s not that today was a bad day. It was just tiring.
Lynn, her mom, and I were up early this morning, because we had signed up for a greenhouse and antique tour through our local adult learning program/ We stopped at three greenhouses and neat little antique store located in Irma. If you ever get the chance I definitely recommend checking it out.
It was a great day surrounded by great people, even if it was a bit unnerving that I was literally the only guy on the trip.
The only really tough part of the day was the trip home. The driver made the decision to travel a section of highway that I still have trouble with. I responded to a 2 vehicle MVC there when I was working on ambulance. The damage to the two vehicles involved and the debris scattered accross the highway is seared into my mind. I still have a real hard time driving through the stretch of road without my brain going into vapour-lock.
I don’t blame our driver for going that route, it was the quickest and most direct for the stops we had to make on the way home. I just hate that this particular piece of highway always drains me when I go by it. I have a few calls that haunt me from my EMS days, and this one is one of the worst.
I’m just thankful that I had Lynn nearby and that I hade the tunes cranked to distract myself. As far as I have come, I still have my stumbling blocks. The thing is, as much as this through my off, my response is different. It’s better. Lynn sat with me through the impact zone, and otherwise I just kind of did my think.
When I got home I needed to focus on something to get out of my head, so I did yard work, managing to get my 10,000 steps in as well. I felt physically drained after I was done that, but it felt good accomplishing some things, and that accomplishment started overshadowing my perceived failures that haunt me.
The fact that I’m handling things so differently even with the setbacks tells me truly how far I have come.