I got triggered today, and survived.

Tonight, I feel mentally and physically spent. It's definitely a far cry from how I was feel 24 hours ago. It's not that today was a bad day. It was just tiring. Lynn, her mom, and I were up early this morning, because we had signed up for a greenhouse and antique tour through our … Continue reading I got triggered today, and survived.

Moving in the right direction.

Speaking with my therapist in Stettler today, he said that there is no comparison between where I started and where I am now. Despite my struggles in recent days, I am inclined to agree with him. I'm feeling more confident on a daily basis. I'm getting busier, but not getting overwhelmed. I'm learning to stay … Continue reading Moving in the right direction.

Working hard

Today has been quiet in the store, but it's given me opportunity to catch up on some writing. I managed to get a couple of articles written from a meeting earlier in the week, as well as making some come calls and arrangements about other projects I'm working on. I'm definitely feeling better than I … Continue reading Working hard

Little decisions.

I was up and moving by quarter after seven this morning. Considering how much I've been struggling to get up before nine the last few days because of fatigue, 7:15 was an accomplishment. It's not that I didn't want to stay in bed. I did. I however did have things I wanted to get done … Continue reading Little decisions.

The animals definitely know how to try my patience…

The animals are lucky they are cute, because I was ready to wring three of their necks last night. They were all being obnoxious turds as well, except for Taffy. She slept. Between Sirius barking his fool head off, Rolo attempting to push me off the bed, and Willow turning my CPAP machine off multiple … Continue reading The animals definitely know how to try my patience…

How anxiety changes my style of play.

Considering how rough the last few months have been, I'm amazed that mentally I'm maintaining as well as I am. I've slowly been getting back into my workout regime, and things have slowly been leveling out. My anxiety has been peaked though, and I'm not sure why. My chest has been tight, I've been jumpy, … Continue reading How anxiety changes my style of play.

Another piece towards “normal.”

I'm trying to figure out how today was so busy yet restful. I drove into Stettler today, and got an oil change, prescriptions, and a few things from Walmart, then stopped and picked up the dogs from the kennel on my way home. All three of the critters were happy to be making their way … Continue reading Another piece towards “normal.”

Back in the saddle

Today was busy! Up and out the door early, conference most of the day, then my first workout in a few days. Damn that felt good. This evening I joined B for supper on his birthday. Still trying to figure out how he ended up cooking on his birthday, but I appreciate the gesture! After … Continue reading Back in the saddle

Home again.

After eight and a half hours behind the wheel I am home. I'm home, but totally drained. The emotionally charged weekend for Brenda's burial and the drive out there and back saw to that. The bright side is I did get to spend some time with my parents. That is something that happens infrequently enough, … Continue reading Home again.

“new normal”

It has been an emotionally trying few days. Brenda's dogs Taffy, Skor, and Rolo. Taffy and Rolo joined our pack back in February, and Skor was rehomed. We said our final goodbye to Brenda yesterday. Today was a lighter day, but not without it's own emotional drain. We met up with some of Lynn's family … Continue reading “new normal”

the long goodbye…we will survive

How do you even begin to say goodbye? That is a question that has been running through my mind today, as we say a final goodbye to my sister-in-law Brenda. Today was the day of her burial, after her sudden loss in the beginning of February. With the burial complete, we are closing one chapter … Continue reading the long goodbye…we will survive

Moving into another phase of grief.

Today was a long frigging day. That's what happens when you spend nine hours on the road. We left Castor at 10 a.m. enroute to Saskatchewan for Brenda's burial on Sunday. I can't believe that three-and-a-half months have passed by so quickly since her sudden and tragic loss. Sunday is going to be rough, but … Continue reading Moving into another phase of grief.

On bad days, I take the win where I can.

I slept last night. I still feel like hell today though. I'm just grumpy today. I have things I know I need to do, but no motivation to do them. It really doesn't help matters any that Lynn woke up with a migraine again, so I'm having to cover the store until she feels functional. … Continue reading On bad days, I take the win where I can.

Wallpapering fog…

Well, today did not go as planned... I let my bedtime routine get messed up last night, and as a result I forgot my meds. As a result I did not sleep worth crap. I finally realised my error around 3 a.m. After some prompting from Lynn I took them then headed back to bed … Continue reading Wallpapering fog…

Getting back on track.

Somewhat quiet day today. Church this morning, then instead of going out for lunch Lynn and I grabbed some sandwich materials and had a quiet lunch at home. This afternoon Lynn napped and I played RDR2 and actually got myself downstairs for a workout. Between being fatigued and busy I have not managed to find … Continue reading Getting back on track.

Suicide vs suicidal; Thankful for friends who break the stigma of suicide and mental illness.

With the weather warming up and the sun shining, it feels like we have finally entered spring proper. The weather in this area has been nasty over the past couple of weeks. Wind storms. Snow. Things have definitely been unsettled, but things seem to have turned a corner. Nothing is permanent. Not the weather, not … Continue reading Suicide vs suicidal; Thankful for friends who break the stigma of suicide and mental illness.

Quiet time.

Fairly quiet day at home today. I'm more or less caught up on my work projects, for a switch. I was able to get a hunk of work done yesterday while I was covering the store for Lynn. I'm covering the store tomorrow as well, then taking part/covering a health and wellness Symposium in town … Continue reading Quiet time.

The sheepdog

I'm enjoying a bit of a change of pace. This week has been slower than my last couple of weeks, although my Thursday and Friday are looking busy this week. It's a good thing though. I need to keep myself somewhat active. I need to keep my mind somewhat active. I just have to pace … Continue reading The sheepdog

Today was busy. I was running sound at church this morning, then after church we did our usual lunch thing with people from church. After lunch we took a drive out to Halkirk to poke around the Snackshack, then home. After we got home I started my new workout from the Kinesiologist I saw on … Continue reading

Not a lot going on… and that’s a good thing

Light day today. Up, breakfast, then setting up my new Galaxy S9. Seems like a decent phone so far. Still need to get a case for it, but that will likely be happening next week. After I finished up with that, it was a dog walk, then a workout. I'm pushing myself to get back … Continue reading Not a lot going on… and that’s a good thing

Pieces are falling together

The end is in sight as far as my current crop of work projects go. It's been a good, busy, but good couple of weeks, but I am definitely looking forward to things slowing down a bit. I have four or five projects currently on the go which I should have wrapped up by the … Continue reading Pieces are falling together

Paying off.

My hard work is paying off. I had an appointment with a nurse in my clinic who specializes in weight management. According to her machine, since I saw her last in the beginning of March, I am down 6 lbs, but have lost 12lbs of fat and gained 6lbs of lean muscle mass. Considering the … Continue reading Paying off.