This is the last, and darkest piece of poetry I wrote during my latest admission. It does not reflect my current state of mind.
The urge to harm myself hit me today,
wave after wave,
I fend off the assault by my mind.
I did not sleep well,
shat should be 8, took 11
My brain lies to me,
it tells me I am;
not worthy of love
These thoughts are nothing new,
no battle I have not waged before,
The thoughts to end my life,
the gift so precious,
people fight to keep,
my thoughts to give it away.
I long to feel the sting of the blade sweep accross my skin,
my stomach lies in knots,
I long to sleep the eternal sleep,
I know my loss would devastate,
I know my loss would hurt those I love,
but don't you see?
The short term,
a loss it would be,
in time those wounds would heal,
my memory lost to the sands of time,
I would sit with God,
my soul would be free,
pain free at last.
I fear I will lose this war with my mind,
I fear it will take me in the end,
but this bliss,
as selfish as it is,
I long for it...
To have the quiet of my mind,