So, my well laid plans of taking a recovery day from working out didn’t happen.
After church and the concert Lynn and I attended this afternoon, I needed to move. I was getting stiff and just needed to get the blood pumping.
I ended up doing just over a mile and a half on the treadmill this afternoon and it felt great. Todays workout was definitely much lower intensity and slower than I’ve done during the week, but if felt great just the same, especially since I knew I had to spend a good chunk of time at the computer this evening processing photos for the paper.
Mentally, I’m feeling like I’m in an alright place right now. I’m keeping myself busy chasing stories. I’m respected as being an unbiased reporter. I have friends and supports who want to see me succeed. I can truly say that right now I am in a position I have not been in in years.
It’s taken work to get to where I am today. Effort. Lot’s of effort.
Many hours of therapy, many hours on the road to appointments. Many weeks of my life lost in hospital.
It’s been worth the effort.
After the last 6 weeks or so, I’m approaching exhausted. Lynn, C, and I have been dealt a huge blow with Brenda’s sudden loss. However, even with that stress and a few curve balls that have been thrown my way in addition, as exhausted I am I still stronger than I was in the past. Mentally and physically I am growing everyday.
Even with all these positives though, I know the darkness that embraced me not so long ago is not far away. I know it can descend on me with a fury. I must remain vigilant. I need to keep doing what is working.
Fitness is definitely a component. Sleep is another huge factor in my struggle with mental illness, and time change doesn’t help matters any. Medication is another key. I know I’ll be on medication until the day I die. As long as it helps and I’m functional, I’m ok with that. Finally, I have my faith in God to get me through.
Three separate pillars that support me. If any one is weakened my possibility of relapse climbs.
I know this has been a rambling post, but as ever, thanks for following along.