The passing storm

Two days into March, and it’s still warmer in my freezer than it is outside.

Paintearth County, July 1, 2018. Kevin J Sabo photo

The last month has definitely been long. With the severe weather, the sudden trip to Saskatchewan, little theatre, and the addition of the two extra dogs into our home, I can quite safely say that I’ve been hammered mentally with one storm after another.

Storms pass.

The weather clears, and things return to some variation of “normal.” With the loss that struck Lynn’s family early in February, things will be different, but we will get back to a “new normal.” We are already well on our way there.

The dogs are adjusting to the transition to our home, even though our cat is not overly amused. Lynn is back in the store today, putting sweat equity into a dream and passion she has had since she was a teenager. Myself, I’m catching up on work that I got behind on while I was away. I’m getting back into writing more regularly.

As far as storms go, the last month has pushed me further than I have been pushed in years. I am feeling it. I am tired. I am definitely at increased risk for a relapse right now. But, I am recognizing it for what it is, and am adjusting accordingly.

I don’t like change at the best of times, yet change is one of the constants in life. It doesn’t matter what we do, change will happen. People die. Laws we don’t agree with are passed. Friends become enemies. It doesn’t matter how much we detest the change, change will happen in life and the only thing we can control with the change is our reaction to it.

One diagnosis I’ve received over the years is adjustment disorder, in addition to my others. It is one I’ve never given much credence too, but in light of the last month I’ve given it more thought.

From WebMD;
Adjustment disorder is a short-term condition that occurs when a person has great difficulty coping with, or adjusting to, a particular source of stress, such as a major life change, loss, or event.

Between my far reaching mental health issues and my previous life in EMS, I’ve seen lot’s of change. I’ve changed towns. I’ve changed jobs. With every major change I’ve had in my life, I’ve slid slowly towards the edge. I’ve slid slowly, not realising my decline until I fell right off.

Recognizing the pattern allows me to intercede before it gets too bad. The last month has seen considerable change in our lives. I know it’s taken it’s toll, and another trip to hospital probably isn’t out of the question at some point this year. At the moment though, I’m getting back to as normal as I can get, and happy for it.

Thanks for following along.

Kevin

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