Fatigue is hitting me like a wall today.
I always feel it the hardest the second day after my sleep gets disrupted, which it definitely did when I went to get Lynn. I was happy to collect her off the train yesterday, I just wish the train wouldn’t have been as late as it was. It departed from Melville 16 hours late, and by the time she got to me she was 26 hours behind schedule, which in this day and age is absolutely insane. Unfortunately it’s not like we can hop a bus anymore. All of our bus-lines have pulled out of rural Alberta,
The fiasco with the train definitely was an exercise in patience, and I know that with the disrupted sleep that I will be at risk mentally for a few days. I know that the fatigue will allow the seeds of self-doubt start to creep in. Hell, with my fatigue being what it is, it’s already starting.
I know I’ve had a hell of a month. I know that my resiliency was impaired even before the lack of sleep, just due to the prior events. Would I do it again? In a heart beat. Do I need to tread carefully for a few days, and watch that I don’t start a slide? Yes.
Being aware of that fact means I can treat myself gently. I can use the numerous skills I’ve acquired over the last few years. I can use my safety plan as I need to. I’ve been through this storm before, and I know I’ll ride it out again.