Today is my fortieth birthday, and I’m home after a few days in Saskatchewan helping Lynn and the family say goodbye to Brenda after her sudden passing.
My sister and I made it home on Friday, and then she carried on North, while I’ve been trying to get back into a new routine with the dogs. Yesterday was not a great start to life with the additional dogs.
Sirius has sensed the stress in the house, and he partook in it by barfing in the hallway as I was getting out of bed. After I got the barf cleaned up, I went to put the dogs out and realised that I forgot their collars. So went back to the bedroom, realised I needed to use the washroom myself, and as I was in the washroom, Rolo started peeing in my bedroom. I swear that dog has a bladder the size of a Winnebago’s gas tank, because he left a trail from the bedroom, down the hallway, and to the back door.
I quite literally screamed.
I screamed, but I collected myself quickly, cleaned up the mess and managed to force myself through the rest of the day. It was not easy, but I did. After I got things cleaned up I headed to the theatre dress-rehearsal which went off with very few minor glitches.
It was nice getting back into something normal and familiar. The support of my friends and extended theatre family was great. It was great coming together with them and focusing on something outside of the tragedy of the last couple weeks.
Enjoying supper with a friend afterwards was awesome as well. I’m glad to have friends who aren’t letting me be alone while I am getting my feet under me again while Lynn is still away.
Today has been better so far. I found that one of the dogs pooped downstairs, but aside from that they seem to be adapting to conditions, as am I. No more dog pee to clean up anyways, so small improvements.
The first performance of our theatre group is this afternoon, and tonight I am going for a birthday supper with friends.
I still carry anger to God over this tragedy, but I am working through it. Brenda’s absence will be a hole in all of our lives, however the healing has already begun. Lynn is still gone helping her mom settle Brenda’s affairs, and I am slowly getting my feet under me on the home front.
I miss Lynn, but know she is where she needs to be, just as I am.
Life has a way of throwing challenges at us. The challenges we have faced recently have definitely been greater than a lot of others in the past few years. The resiliency I feel though is definitely better than I have had in years, and I need to hold on to that for over the next days, weeks, and moths I know I will continue to be challenged.