In the morning, we say goodbye to my sister-in-law.
It has been more than a week since her loss, and we still struggle to understand. We struggle to understand why God called her home. We struggle to comprehend the permanence of this loss that we feel like a dagger through the heart.
We struggle with all of the above, but something that was found at her home while Lynn and Kim were there helps us believe that God has his reasons.
A prayer was found on her chalkboard that her mom is positive was not there the night before when she was there:
“Lord, Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you + I can’t handle together, Amen.”
That this writing was her last and written before she passed tells us that whatever happened she is by God’s side in Heaven and that everything is happening by His design. There is no other explanation for it.
We don’t have to like it. I don’t like it. Nothing I do can change it. I can accept. I can believe that He has his reasons for this tragedy. I can know that she is by His side.
I still question Him. I’m angry at Him for this senseless loss. I know He can take it. He accepts that we can be angry at Him.
We will heal from this devastating loss. We can heal, but we will never forget.
We will miss you Brenda.
Until we meet again,