Old habits…

New year, new me? Not so much.

I’ve been finding myself falling into old habits I can’t say I like it. I’ve been spending more and more time gaming. I’ve been neglecting things that need to get done. My sleep schedule has been thrown for a loop as well, because I’ve been allowing myself to stay up later and later, and I’m sleeping in much later than normal. I’ve started neglecting my diet as well, and haven’t exercised in awhile.

These are all red flags for me and the state of my mental health. These flags didn’t just pop up, they started creeping in so slowly that it isn’t until I look at them all together that I realise that a problem could be coming my way.

Seeing the issues at hand, it does give me some knowledge to deal with them head on. Like forcing myself to bed earlier, and actually trying to get to sleep. I can cut down on my game time in the evening, and pick up a book instead. I can get back to my manuscript that I haven’t worked on since my aborted NaNo run in November. Diet, well that I have no excuse for…

The only major sticking point I have at the moment is the exercise. I woke up very sore in the shoulder this morning. Much more sore than it’s been recently. I have to admit that with the wing being as sore as it’s been, the thought of exercise hasn’t really had much of an appeal. That said, I do have a treadmill, and it’s time I get back on it.

It amazes me at how far I have come on this mental health journey, and yet it is still so easy to fall back into old habits without realizing it. What’s even worse is some of those same habits are the ones that led me down the path to depression and darkness in the first place.

I read somewhere that a habit can be formed by doing something daily 21 times and that after a habit is formed, they are hard to break. We have habits all over our daily lives, some better than others. The habits I speak of are just the daily routine of life. For example, when I make coffee in the morning, I make it the same way every time. I make it just about everyday, and seeing as I’m not quite functional in the morning before my coffee, I am basically on autopilot.

I know what habits do help me in my mental health, however since those habits are newer than the deep seated problem causers they are easily over-ridden without vigilance.

Even with lapsing into old habits, mentally I am stronger than I have been in quite some time, and being aware of the issues makes it easier to course correct. Being aware enough to see it and be able to make the correction before things get totally out of hand is a good place for me to be in.

New year, new me? Nope. New day, being the best me I can be and making the changes I need to be healthy and functional? Yup. That is something I can live with.

Thanks for tagging along.


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