Month: January 2019

A fork in the road

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goals, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Politics, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today is a day where a new normal sets in in our community. Our beloved little coffee shop that was beside our bookstore on main street closed its doors for the final time yesterday. With the coffee groups that met there over the last few years, the meals shared, the courses hosted, Ben & Simons … Continue reading A fork in the road

We have the education on mental health/illness. Now show me the money so it can be eradicated.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goals, History, Hope, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, Politics, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today is Bell's Let's Talk day campaign, where they donate a bunch of money to mental health initiatives. The funding helps but is no where close to enough. On average our province spends around 7 per cent of it's health care dollars on mental health. The national average is 7.2 per cent. As a patient … Continue reading We have the education on mental health/illness. Now show me the money so it can be eradicated.

Limits aren’t an option, they are a necessity.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Hope, Injured List, journalism, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Physical injury, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, suicide survivor, Writing Therapy

I'm honestly not sure which is more draining; running my ass off or having some down time. The weekend was busyish, with play practice, a hockey tournament, church, etc. This week has been pretty slow, though. My evenings are pretty much shot though. Meeting Monday night, play practise tonight, tea with a friend tomorrow night, … Continue reading Limits aren’t an option, they are a necessity.

The path through the darkness

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Fiction, Fuck Mental Illness, grief, Hope, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., poetry, poetry, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Writing Therapy

The shriek of the radio tears through the night. Another night's sleep wrecked. It's time to go to work. Another interaction with people having the worst day of their lives. Another person gone too soon. We are highly trained. We are highly motivated. We do this job so others may live. Photo by Pixabay on … Continue reading The path through the darkness

“The list” by Toby Keith drives home the importance of putting yourself on your to do list.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Entertainment, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goals, Habits, Hope, Injured List, journalism, Making time for what's important, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Physical injury, PS4, ptsd, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

A quiet day today. Country star Toby Keith has a song talking about life that should be required listening. "The List." Bounced between writing, theatre projects, and Red Dead Redemption 2. RDR2 continues to amaze me with the level of detail that the story has had. The only real knock I have found with this … Continue reading “The list” by Toby Keith drives home the importance of putting yourself on your to do list.

Good news, bad news

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goals, Habits, Hope, Injured List, journalism, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., Physical injury, PS4, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Self-harm, Storms, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com Today was a long day. Up and out early for appointments in Red Deer, and when B and I hit the highways it was blowing snow. It was not a good start to the day. Thankfully by the time we cleared Stettler the snow had eased off somewhat, and … Continue reading Good news, bad news

Taking a time out.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Goals, Hope, journalism, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., PS4, ptsd, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Taking a timeout in Paintearth County on Dec. 31 To say that the last week has been busy is a drastic understatement. After the last week, I am beat. Between meetings, writing, more meetings, theatre practise, and the general day to day of life I am wiped out. That's why today I slept in. I … Continue reading Taking a time out.

Being heard in a sea of voices.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Hope, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, small victories, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

This has been a long week. Long, but good. I got through my meetings and today was spent in the office working on stories, although I did escape for a bit, having lunch with a friend, then meeting with someone else I know over coffee to discuss some upcoming mental health related activities that the … Continue reading Being heard in a sea of voices.

Getting busy and productive…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, small victories, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Ready or not, days off are done. Tonight I have the first of four meetings in three days. At least I can't complain I'm bored. Today I spent quietly, playing RDR2. I've got hours into that game, and I haven't cracked 50 per cent year. The scope of it is fantastic, and I stand by … Continue reading Getting busy and productive…

Seeing beyond black and white… finding hope that the opposites exist when they can’t be seen.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Colour spectrum, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, journalism, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., PS4, ptsd, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I am looking at the upcoming week with both dread and relief. Not so long ago it would have been on or the other. It is yet another soft marker as to how I am feeling mentally. When I'm at my worst mentally I fit the typical BPD trait of seeing things in black or … Continue reading Seeing beyond black and white… finding hope that the opposites exist when they can’t be seen.

A reason, a season, or a lifetime…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Hope, journalism, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, suicide survivor, Uncategorized

Every day I am blown away by the people who have come into my life over the last few years. From Lynn, to whom I've been married for over a decade and is an absolute rock in my life, to my old boss, friend, and mentor L at the ambulance, to my church friends and … Continue reading A reason, a season, or a lifetime…

Sick kitty…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Hope, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., PS4, ptsd, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

This morning started earlier than I would have liked; it definitely got off on the wrong paw.... Up and out early this morning to take Willow to see Dr. J in Forestberg. She has continued to have blood in her urine, and she hasn't been comfortable despite the first run of anti-biotics she had over … Continue reading Sick kitty…

Mixed days are not a bad thing…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Hope, journalism, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Self-harm, Storms, Stress, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been a mixed day emotionally and physically. I got a lot accomplished, including sorting out the AV supply room at the church. I couldn't have done it without the help of N though. The shoulder has been really bad today, and the ache is starting to wear on me. I definitely have a … Continue reading Mixed days are not a bad thing…

Old habits…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in Abandonment, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, contemplation, DBT Skills, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Habits, journalism, learning new skills, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., NaNoWrMo, Novel writing., Old habits die hard, PS4, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

New year, new me? Not so much. I've been finding myself falling into old habits I can't say I like it. I've been spending more and more time gaming. I've been neglecting things that need to get done. My sleep schedule has been thrown for a loop as well, because I've been allowing myself to … Continue reading Old habits…

Moving forward

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Hope, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Things around home are slowly returning to normal after the holidays. Lynn is back at the bookstore for regular hours, and I'm catching up on e-mails and projects I have in the que. I've picked up another event to cover later in the month as well. I'm also working on getting the house cleaned up … Continue reading Moving forward

Steady as she goes.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, Gaming, Hope, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Red Dead Redemption 2, reporter, Self-care, small victories, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been busy, but good. This morning, we said goodbye to the company that we have had since boxing day. I love my in-laws, but with Lynn's sister bringing her three dogs the just over a week they were here was getting a bit long. Willow, our cat agreed. Last night she showed her … Continue reading Steady as she goes.

2019, life’s next chapter.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, DBT Skills, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Fuck Mental Illness, Goal Setting, Goals, Hope, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

The chapter of life known as 2018 is now complete, and the blank pages of 2019 wait before us to be written on. Where is this chapter in our lives going to lead us? Will you face triumph and joy? Will you face adversity and pain? Likely, the answer will be yes to all of … Continue reading 2019, life’s next chapter.