Sometimes pushing through is better than a complete retreat…

The holiday season can be a hard time of year for anyone.

I find that my worst time of year is November and December. This year has been no different.

The last few weeks I have been struggling to maintain my level. I’ve been struggling a bit mentally, having a difficult time getting myself motivated. Physically has been no fun either since I re-injured my already bad shoulder. I have the ultrasound booked for it for the later part of January, so that’s progress at least.

What has been different this year is my resiliency. Last year around this time I ended up in hospital over-night in Edmonton because I was very low mood-wise, and having very suicidal thoughts and impulses. At that point I had my medications adjusted, carried on with my groups, and otherwise did little but force myself out of the slump.

Fast forward a year and the emotions are just as intense. What is different is instead of allowing myself the luxury of completely withdrawing, I have slowed down but not canceled many of my commitments. I have pushed myself to be engaged in life, even when it’s been a challenge just getting out of bed.

The support of Lynn, and all my friends and family has been crucial over the last year, and will continue to be. The battle of 2018 is nearly over, but the war continues into the new year. I’m feeling much stronger than I have in the past, but I need to remain vigilant.

Thanks for following along, and the support over the last year.


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