So, I think I’ve been biting off more than I can chew…
The fact that it happened tells me how chaotic life is getting. I need to hit the brakes before things totally go off the rails. When I am starting to miss appointments without even realising it, something is wrong.
I had a phone call from my doctor tonight, asking me to stop by tomorrow to sign a document, and while we were talking she let me know that I no-showed to an appointment last week.
I feel horrible. That is something I don’t think I have ever done before. I checked my calendar, and had the appointment written in for this Friday at 2. I have no clue how I messed that up.
Between running around for meetings with my reporting gig, covering the store, getting involved with our local theatre group, writing group, church activities, and looking after Lynn, I have definitely lost sight of doing what I need to do to look after myself.
Last night, I didn’t take the camera. I didn’t cover the event. I actually enjoyed it as a guest. I enjoyed the entertainment, I enjoyed the fellowship, and I enjoyed the great meal. It would have been nice to get some photos, but I went there to have a good night out with my wife, not to work.
I think what it’s coming down to is this; I need to find my role and set my limits.
I know I do an important job in town, writing for the paper. The thing is, I can’t cover everything. I can’t be everywhere, as hard as I try. I need to separate my work self from my actual self. I am not my job.
I am not my diagnoses either.
The job, the health issues, they all play a part in who I am, but they don’t define me.
I’m going to keep striving for excellence. I’m going to keep pushing myself. Part of that push is going to be me looking after myself.
I’m going to say “No” a little more.
I’m going to spend more time with Lynn.
I’m going to double check appointments.
I’m going to cut myself some slack when I need to take some time to recharge.
I’m going to double down my efforts to lose some weight.
I’m going to get my sleep back on track.
2019 is right around the corner. I’m going to greet it armed with everything I’ve learned up to this point.
Instead of trying to figure out what my role is in this life, I’m going to redefine it for myself.