Mile by mile

 

Life is a long road, full of pit-stops, detours, and breakdowns.

When I look in front of me the future looks daunting and overwhelming. When the depression hits me hard, I fall into a pit that feels like I will never get out of. I will lose hope. I will lose sight of the path in front of me, but I will keep walking.

It’s when I fall into these pits on the road of life that I need the extra support. I know when I need it and I know when to reach out. There is no harm in asking for help when you hit a pit in the road of your mental health, after all, if your car were to break down on the road for real, wouldn’t you call a tow-truck?

After I get my tow I get patched up and hit the road again. I hit the road again, but things are different. As daunting and overwhelming as the future seems, it seems clearer. When I stop and look behind me, I can see how far I have come, even with all the pitfalls I have had.

My record for dealing with challenges in life is 100 per cent so far.

Have I stumbled? Yes.

Have I fallen? Again, yes.

Have I faced the challenges and succeeded? A resounding yes.

That gives me hope for the future.

Does it take away my mental illness? Nope.

I still easily get overwhelmed. I still dislike large crowds although I am getting better at dealing with them. Intrusive thoughts still barrel through my mind like a bull through a china shop. I still have moments where my self-confidence is low, where I feel like I’m unloveable, unwanted, and just a mess. Getting through that shadow of self-doubt is a challenge that feels insurmountable. The catch is, even at my worst I’ve struggled through.

It’s not easy. It can actually be quite hard. Reaching for help to get through is nothing to be ashamed of.

Mental illness is a bitch. I hate it. I hate that it makes life that much more of a challenge. I hate that it makes life in itself more work and more effort.

That effort makes me stronger though, and after I emerge from the pitfall, I look around and amazed at how far I have come.

With this struggle, looking at the long road ahead will drive you nuts. However, by putting one foot in front of the other you will keep traveling down the road of life, and mile by mile things will change, sometimes for the good, sometimes not.

The catch is, you’re not going to know which it’s going to be unless your keep walking. A new life could be right around the corner. Don’t you owe it to yourself to find out?

Kevin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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