Month: November 2018

Entering the storm.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

This morning I woke up not knowing what hit me.  Where I went to bed last night feeling relatively upbeat after struggling for the last few days prior, this morning I woke up to a shroud of darkness that has settled over me.  I am drained. My energy level is next to non-existent, as is … Continue reading Entering the storm.

Despite the lies my illness tell me, I know I’ve left my mark.

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been long, and busy. I spent the day at the church today, while Lynn was working in the office there. We had a team from Parkland Audio/Video in Red Deer come out today to install a new projector for our Sanctuary, and help me troubleshoot some gremlins I was having in the soundboard.  … Continue reading Despite the lies my illness tell me, I know I’ve left my mark.

I can’t define my role in this world, so I’m redefining it for myself…

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fitness, Fuck Mental Illness, journalism, learning new skills, loss, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

So, I think I've been biting off more than I can chew... The fact that it happened tells me how chaotic life is getting. I need to hit the brakes before things totally go off the rails. When I am starting to miss appointments without even realising it, something is wrong.  Photo by Pixabay on … Continue reading I can’t define my role in this world, so I’m redefining it for myself…

Wiley Coyote Syndrome

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, ptsd, reporter, Self-care, Storms, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Today has been one of those days where I seem to have been expending a ton of energy, and not showing much forward movement.  I was up and out the door early for coverage of a local government meeting, then grabbed Lynn and I lunch from our local pie shoppe. This afternoon, I ran around … Continue reading Wiley Coyote Syndrome

Demons

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Abandonment, Anxiety, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, Black and white thinking, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Brentwood College School, Depression, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Fatigue, Fuck Mental Illness, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, Self-care, Stress, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

It's always the same.  The tightness in the chest and throat.  The increased breath rate. The hyper-vigilance. The racing thoughts.  The memories of those lost following me around like a weight.  I try to escape the thoughts that grip me. The thoughts that threaten to strangle me.  The thoughts that weigh me down. Failures and … Continue reading Demons

Movie Review: Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes of Grindelwald. (No spoilers)

by thrutheashesblog, posted in Entertainment, just for fun, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

I went in to Fantastic Beasts: the Crimes of Grindewald with mixed expectations. It's not that I was expecting it to be a bad show, but after how well done the first one was I wasn't sure how a sequel would do.  In a word: WOW.  From the opening sequence to the end credits, the … Continue reading Movie Review: Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes of Grindelwald. (No spoilers)

What is my legacy?

by thrutheashesblog, posted in ;, Balancing Mental Illness, Belly of the beast, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Depression, Emergency medical services, ems, END THE STIGMA, Faith, Family, Fuck Mental Illness, journalism, Mental health, Mental Health awareness, Mental Health recovery, Mental Illness Awareness, my story isn't over yet., ptsd, reporter, Self-care, small victories, Storms, Suicidal Mind, suicide survivor, Uncategorized, Writing Therapy

Photo by Mike on Pexels.com "Time and tide wait for no man."-Unknown. I'm feeling my age. I'm pushing 40. Lynn is already there. We are both definitely into middle-age, and I think we have both been wondering what we have to show for our life. I know I have. I haven't been able to give … Continue reading What is my legacy?