Today, I am thankful for family.
I am thankful that I live in a country where different faiths can be held, and differing opinions can be held, though not always agreed upon.
I am extremely thankful for the friends and family who have stuck by side over the past months and years, no matter how hard I have tried to push you away.
I’m tired. The events of the last few days have worn me down. With the traveling, the visiting, the general over-stimulation, I am feeling worn out.
I do not react well to change. I don’t react well to a break in routine. I don’t deny that. That is why I struggled with my old family doctor leaving, and with my psychiatrist discharging me from her practise.
Even good change, such as the trip to see Lynn’s family is enough of a change in routine to throw me off and overwhelm me. Last night, by the time we were done with visiting and traveling and seeing people, I was spent. I ended up back at the mother inlaws house, went to bed, and read and listened to music until I fell asleep.
Reading and music are two things that I do for self-care, and they are important steps in me staying functional.
I can’t control what happens. Change is inevitable, and even good stress can be stressful to someone battling this miserable beast inside my head. It is by being gentle with myself, and doing self-care, whether that looks like walking, reading, music, or writing, that I can remain remotely as functional as I am, even in trying times.
Being gentle is an important part of looking after yourself, and something it has taken me too long to learn.