The last two days have been eventful, and today’s not over yet.
The thing is, at the moment I can handle it. I know I can handle it, especially since tomorrow I have very little going on, and have been working on keeping it that way. I know I cannot maintain the momentum I have going right now. I know I need to have a day where I can pump the brakes, catch up on some household stuff, and kick back and blow the crap out of things on the PS4.
I know when I’ve hit my wall, and I am almost there. Taking a day to slow down and recover is not a failure. It is a fact of my life. I know if I don’t put the brakes on, I will burn out.
It’s all about the balance. The fact that the balance point is a moving target from day to day is no small amount of frustration. However, again, it’s a fact of my life. I don’t have to like it. I have to acknowledge that fact, and plan around it. Ignoring it isn’t going to help. I can’t bury my head in the sand and hope the illness will go away.
It hasn’t left after nearly two decades. I don’t think it’s going away.
Just because it’s not going away, doesn’t mean all is lost. The one thing I have found over the last few years is this. Humans are adaptable creatures. We have overcome the distance between the earth and the moon. People have gone to the bottom of the challenger deep, which is the deepest known point in any ocean. People can adapt to almost any condition.
And mental illness is something that people can adapt to. Just like a physical illness or injury can be limiting, mental illness is no different. However, just like physical illness or injury can be adapted to, so can mental health. At the most basic point, there is zero difference.
I know there is zero difference in the adaptation, because I live it. Pumping the brakes and giving myself more frequent recovery days is part of my adaptation.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that life is all rosy for me, despite the illness. We’d all know I was lying. It’s not always easy. I struggle frequently, though a lot less frequently than I used to.
Don’t lose hope, as long as we draw breathe, the fight for life and against the illness is not over.
Thanks for following along,