How much is too much?
This is a question I ask myself frequently, and one I have been mulling over today.
I have been reviewing my calendar since I got discharged, and what I have upcoming for the remainder of the month.
Since I was discharged from hospital earlier this month, I most definitely have hit the ground running. I’ve submitted nine separate stories this month, with attendant photos, and I have more in the works before the end of the month.
I’m loving the work. I’m loving that it is getting me into the community, and amongst people. It’s great that it’s helping me push my limits.
The question is, how far can I push myself before my body starts pushing back? How much can I take on?
I don’t know. Ideally, I would like to think that I could return to full-time work and not be phased. I also know that, for the moment anyways, it is not even remotely realistic.
I know that. What I would give for some sense of normal like that though. The problem is, I haven’t worked full-time for over 5 years. And where I am mentally, I don’t know I can handle more than half-time, and I think that would be pushing it.
I know I need to push myself. If I don’t, I know I’ll stagnate. I’ve talked before about balance. I just don’t know how to find it, since it seems to be a moving target.
I guess all I can do is push on, do my best, and push my limits. If I go over the edge, as has happened many times before, I can be secure in knowing that I can get myself standing on my own two feet again, given time.