Being suicidal is not a sign of weakness. It is not a character flaw. It is not selfish.
No, being suicidal is none of those things. What being suicidal is is the mind looking for a way to end psychological pain that is overwhelming the minds ability to cope.
In a perverse way, being suicidal is the opposite of selfish, for myself anyways. When I am struggling with these dark thoughts, the logic leap my mind takes tell me that everyone is better off without me. Without my drama, without my bullshit.
When I am coping better, as I am today, I know that the logic is faulty. I know that my death would do nothing more than take my pain and spread it to those who care about me.
Even knowing the logic fault is there when I struggle my mind still reaches to these dark places for comfort. I hate to admit it but even when I am “healthy”, a term I use loosely, the suicidal thoughts never venture far from my mind.
September 10 is worldwide Suicide Prevention Day. It is a day to drag the darkness into the light. It is a day to start having a tough conversation with those you love, especially if you struggle.
It is great that this severe issue is being recognized, but we can’t let the conversation start and stop on the same day. Mental illness affects people twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Mental health issues are more widely recognized and are being taken much more seriously than they have been in the past, but there is much left to do to increase awareness.
Programs are still chronically under-funded. Wait lists for specialists still extend too long. Once you are established in the mental health system it works well, but getting to that point is years of frustration and despair in many cases.
Governments need to step up to help those most vulnerable, those who struggle with their own mind, and the only way that is going to happen is if more people step forward and demand change.
Yes, September 10 is Suicide Prevention Day. Let’s start the conversation, and make every day Suicide Prevention Day, because in my opinion even one person slipping through the cracks and dying by their own hand is too many.